Upon This Day A Miracle Occurred

It is especially fitting that March 21st is Good Friday, because upon this day a Miracle occurred. I will adorn protective vestments, anoint my forehead with peanut oil, and practice the ritual of deep-frying.

This is the story.

On March 21, 2003, when missiles bombarded Baghdad, I made a routine trip to the kitchen for nourishment. On this particular afternoon I opted to make my sausage wontons. I have fixed them for many a cocktail party or holiday gathering and they were always a hit. I prepared my sausage mixture as I always do: a pinch of 5-spice powder, a dollop of Thai chili paste, salt, pepper—the usual stuff. Then I began the tedious work of filling the wonton wrappers. With assembly line precision, I stuffed, folded, and repeated while the peanut oil rose to 350°. Everything was set and I lowered each wonton with my lo dou (the brass frying strainer with bamboo handle) gently into the peanut oil. I deep-fried each wonton—a simple routine until I noticed something peculiar. When I pulled one of the wontons out of the oil, it looked very different from the others.

I stopped the process and gazed intently at the golden-fried icon emerging before me. It still glistened from the oil and the shroud—that shroud—could it be? A small round face peeked from its folds and two hands clasped reverently in prayer. I am definitely not a Catholic or have any affiliation; organized groups of any sort with only one point of view will be the end of us all. This wonton could not be a mere chance happening. It was her! The Virgin Mary lay on an oil-soaked paper towel. The Blessed Virgin was in my kitchen! How could I deny what was before me? This icon of the Catholic Church was not a bleeding statue or a shadow on a wooden fence, but a crispy, golden-fried sausage wonton.

Was it a sign? I thought about the bombs exploding in Iraq, but then my rational side emerged. It could not be a sign about that. Wouldn't the Catholics want those Allah worshipers put in their place? Perhaps she was a sign for my heathen apathy about the Christian God?

She had to be more than a deformed sausage wonton. There had to be a meaning behind this potentially holy experience. I thought about eating her. If I were to ingest her, this holy vessel, would I rise to some transcendent plane? Could I actually eat what lay before me? As the picture below will attest, I could not. How could a simple heathen like me eat a holy icon? It did not seem right. She must be saved for posterity. This was far more serious than a potato chip shaped like Elvis.

This was THE Virgin; a woman with no sexual history who gave birth to the savior of many. I, a simple lad, had the honor of her presence.

Preserved with 20 coats of polyurethane, the Virgin Wonton's only flaw is when she was brutally attacked by a demon kitty and now has a hole in the back of her head.


The Blessed Virgin Wonton

(click to embiggen)

The Blessed Virgin Wonton documents her travels and tours the holy sites of all faiths throughout the world.

To find out more about the Blessed Virgin Wonton visit her site.

She doesn't update that often, but when she has the time, she blesses us all with her supreme joy.


All Hail The Blessed Virgin Wonton!

Here are some photos of her travels. More are available at her site.


The Virgin Wonton at Ephesus


Virgin Wonton at Ephesus

The Virgin Wonton Take a Trip Down the Ganges

Virgin Wonton Ganges


(Cross-posted at The Blessed Virgin Wonton's second home Petulant Rumblings)

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