Smart political wives know: Stand by your man after he lays down with others

In this great American experiment of white dude democracy, there's one thing we've learned beyond all others -- white dudes are deviant, cheating bastards. This is an undeniable fact, and part of what makes America the greatest America in the history of Americas.

But part of what helps a cheating male politician reach true greatness is having a spouse who can handle the intricacies of having a cheating deviant bastard as a husband. With a plethora of local, state and national elections upcoming, a whole slew of deviant white men will be looking to make their mark in politics, as well as make some time with whichever lobbyist, actress, model, prostitute or dude in the next stall they happen to stumble upon. How the wives of these men handle the inevitable press conferences discussing their mate's peccadilloes is what will put these marital-vow-challenged men over the top.

A recent story by the Associated Press entitled "Cindy McCain, like Others, stands by man" is less an article than a how-to guide for future humiliated spouses. Most of these spouses will fail, however, because they are weak.

"Few political wives are considered strong women," said Stanley Renshon, a political psychologist at City University of New York.

Renshon grudgingly accepts Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama as strong women, though he was unwilling to point out that Hillary was actually running for President, just how she reacted to accusations that her husband cheated in office.

For Renshon and AP writer Libby Quaid, Cindy McCain, second wife to Presidential hopeful John McCain, showed text-book abilities in how to handle accusations of spousal infidelity.
Cindy McCain stood with her shoulder pressed against her husband's, watching him and his questioners intently, her expression pleasant and composed, as usual. Asked for her thoughts, she moved to the microphone without pause.
As she finished, her husband, obviously appreciative, said, "I should have had you conduct this." Cindy McCain smiled and briefly placed her hand on his arm.
Cindy McCain proved without a doubt that she is First Lady material by following the "Pleasant Composure with Ample Warm Touching" technique. Remember, political wives, your husband will be scarred emotionally and physically from cheating on you. Especially when the cheating happens to be with a lobbyist he did political favors for. They are fragile at this moment and need to be touched in front of numerous film crews and reporters.

Now, as America has grown to become a more inclusive America, even-African-American male politicians have shown up with wives who understand that their man is a just a cheating politician who needs to be touched in front of the media after he's finished touching some other woman in a cheap hotel:
Carlita Kilpatrick, seated next to her husband, Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, touched his knee as he publicly apologized to his family amid a scandal over intimate and sexually explicit text messages involving him and his top aide. "Yes, I am angry, I am hurt, and I am disappointed. But there is no question that I love my husband."
Note the knee touch. That's the sign of a "smart" political wife.

On the other end of the spectrum, however is Senator Larry Craig's wife:
Suzanne Craig stood silently as her husband, Larry, denied last summer that he had propositioned a man in the stall of an airport bathroom. Her expression was obscured by large sunglasses.
Obviously, it was Suzanne Craig's reaction that helped lead to her husband's ultimate humiliation - a somewhat severe hand-slapping from the Senate Ethics Committee. It goes without saying that Suzanne Craig is not a strong woman.

There are other examples of weak women who were unable to support and touch their husbands during their times of need:

-- Neither of Newt Gingrich's wives stood by him when he cheated on them, then divorced them. And while some may give Gingrich's second wife, Marianne Ginther, the benefit of the doubt that she didn't stand by him due the fact that she was flat on her back in a hospital bed fighting cancer, her weakness is not to be overlooked. In fact, Gingrich is still married to his third wife, Jackie Battley, who has stood strong by her man's side despite Gingrich's continued affairs.

-- Carol McCain, John McCain's first wife, showed off her weakness of character after McCain's multiple affairs and eventual divorce by stating: "I attribute [the breakup of our marriage] more to John turning 40 and wanting to be 25 again than I do to anything else."

Cindy McCain, however, has shown she stands tall when it comes to standing by her man. Having started her relationship with the "Maverick" Senator as a "Mavstress," she eventually graduated to wife, and has shown that she won't be affected by such things as marital infidelity.
"Well, obviously, I'm disappointed," she said, her voice low but clear and self-assured. "More importantly, my children and I not only trust my husband, but know that he would never do anything to not only disappoint our family, but disappoint the people of America. He's a man of great character."
So ladies, if you're looking to marry a man with political aspirations, remember a couple important things: 1) He will cheat on you and publicly humiliate you, and 2) your response can make or break his career.

"Their comments are an important part of any candidate's response when such an accusation arises," said Renshon.

"The allegation of infidelity is still a powerful allegation, and it remains powerful because it's about trust and responsibility, the idea that if you're cheating on your spouse, what can we expect of you in the presidency," Renshon added.

By publicly blaming the messenger, keeping her voice low but clear and self-assured and striking a calm balance between strident and shocked, Cindy McCain has proven she's ready to play in the big leagues. And by trusting that her serial adulterer husband would never disappoint her family or America, she proved she is one of the few smart political wives out there.


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