Those Who Trespass

My creationIt's primary season, and that's when minor differences between candidates set like-minded people at odds. But whether you're a Clintonite, Pro-bama, Edwardsian, Billighted with Richardson, part of Mike Gravel's crazy cadre, or Kucinichichichy, I think we can all agree on one thing: Bill O'Reilly is a horrible human being.

Today's case in point: Bill O'Reilly attacked an Obama staffer

Yes, you read that right: Bill O'Reilly attacked an Obama staffer:
Fox News host Bill O'Reilly got into a confrontation with an Obama aide after O'Reilly started screaming at him as he tried to get Barack Obama's attention following a rally here. O'Reilly eventually did chat briefly with Obama and asked him to be a guest on his show.

The incident was triggered when O'Reilly--with a Fox News crew shooting--was screaming at Obama National Trip Director Marvin Nicholson "Move" so he could get Obama's attention, according to several eyewitnesses. "O'Reilly was yelling at him, yelling at his face," a photographer shooting the scene said.

O'Reilly grabbed Nicholson's arm and shoved him, another eyewitness said. Nicholson, who is 6'8, said O'Reilly called him "low class."

Because nothing says high-class like Bill O'Reilly, who once wrote:
Ashley was now wearing only brief white panties. She had signaled her desire by removing her shirt and skirt, and by leaning back on the couch. She closed her eyes, concentrating on nothing but Shannon's tongue and lips. He gently teased her by licking the areas around her most sensitive erogenous zone. Then he slipped her panties down her legs and, within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly. (Bill O'Reilly, Those Who Trespass: a Novel of Television and Murder)

That's some high-class porn there, almost as good as the stuff Bill Buckley wrote about getting busy with Ayn Rand. (Yes, William F. Buckley wrote a love scene that featured Ayn Rand. Yes, that Ayn Rand. No, I won't link to it. I don't want you to hurt the way I hurt.)

(Oh, and I know quoting from Those Who Trespass is a cheap shot, but seriously, "His tongue was inside her, moving rapidly?" And at least I didn't use the word falafel.)

Anyhoo, you might think this story is unfair to O'Reilly, but it's been confirmed by multiple sources, including my personal favorite:
"You're blocking our shot," yelled O'Reilly.

"Oh, am I?" asked the Obama staffer, not entirely sincerely and not moving.

This is not a new trick. When staffers block you because you're being too aggressive, the standard thing to do is give them a little business and then move to another spot. O'Reilly didn't do this. He shoved the Obama aide. There was an exchange and a little more shoving. I didn't fully capture because as I looked at O'Reilly in his black leather Fox jacket, which resembled the kind we wore during football season in high school, I swore I could hear him challenge the staffer to a rumble out by the drive-in.

"That's really low class, pal," said O'Reilly.

[...]

I have a confession. During the shoving, I found myself yelling at O'Reilly to grow up, which was thoroughly unprofessional, except that I have little kids and I think it's important to discipline misbehavior immediately. If I don't dare to discipline, they'll grow up to be like, well, Bill O'Reilly.

Indeed. Stay classy, BillO. Can't wait for Monday's Countdown.

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