Report: Unmitigated pandering, bullshit combine to blow top off Fox News building

NEW YORK - A small chemical explosion was reported Monday in the building that houses Fox News, officials said. One person was injured.

The explosions were caused by an unhealthy mixture of unmitigated pandering and bullshit, said a source.

"We have some sort of reaction between two chemicals that caused a slight explosion," said fire spokesman Jim Long.

The Fox News building, long considered a fire hazard by experts, is still a danger to go up in flames again at any minute, say experts.

"When you have so little actual soul in a building, plus a complete and utter lack of journalistic ethics, you have a problem," said Timmy Johnson, a Bluster Expert from South Dakota. "Add to that a healthy dose of pure pandering, self-righteousness and outright lying, and it's just a powder keg ready to go."

While the Fox News building has survived in tact for many years, many experts are pointing to a recent interview between Neil Cavuto and Rupert Murdoch as the likely start to the explosion.

"The amount of pandering in that interview just sucked the air right out of the entire building," said Johnson. "I'm honestly quite surprised they didn't both spontaneously combust on the air.

"Our readings gave that interview a bullshit factor of 9.7 Hannities," added Johnson. "To put that into perspective, the highest an O'Reilly episode hits is roughly 8.9 Hannities. That may not sound like much of a difference, but the Hannity scale goes up logarithmically. You know, like the Richter scale."

Johnson added that should the bullshit factor rise over 10 Hannities, both Fox News and the Wall Street Journal will likely implode, causing a black hole that would likely suck every last bit of truth out of the nation.

"The science on this is still a little iffy, but this much propaganda and bullshit is dangerous to the nation," said Johnson. "And with the elections coming, it's almost a sure thing that we'll see a hell of a lot more damage."

--WKW