Now that Christmas has been ruled important, Congress moves on to bigger questions

It is official: Christmas is important.

Iowa Republican Steve King, hoping to fight for repressed Christians throughout America, introduced legislation this week saying that Christmas and Christians were important.

Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--

(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;

(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;
The vote sailed through the House, with just nine Democrats saying that King could shove his Christmas legislation up his merry ass. Not to be denied, however, King is set to unleash several more bills, such as:


"A good piece of steak, now that's good eating."

Whereas many Americans believe steak makes for a great meal. Now, therefore be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--

(1) recognizes that a good steak is quite nice;

(2) expresses continued support for all those that like a good piece of steak;
"Air: It's good to breathe."

Whereas many Americans and non-Americans celebrate air as a positive thing to breathe. Now, therefore be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--

(1) recognizes air as a breathable substance;

(2) expresses continued moral support for air throughout the nation;
"Nipples: Some dudes play with theirs and that's ok"

Whereas many male Americans celebrate their nipples as an erogenous zone and that by no means makes them gay. Now, therefore be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--

(1) Accepts that men have nipples;

(2) expresses continued support for men playing with their nipples;
It will be interesting to see how these bills effect the publics' opinion of Congress, which is currently incredibly low.

One thing is sure, however, the Christian, meat-eating, mouth-breathing, nipple-playing base of the Republican Party must be thrilled with Rep. King's hard work.

You can contact Rep. King with other ideas for bills by clicking here.

--WKW

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