Breaking: Joe Lieberman is Not a Democrat

I know this is going to come as a shock, so you'd better sit down. Ready? Okay. Breathe deeply.

Sen. Joe Lieberman, Joe-Conn., is going to endorse John McCain for president:
Sen. Joseph Lieberman (Conn.), the 2000 Democratic vice-presidential nominee who currently lists his party affiliation as "Independent Democrat," will break party ranks today to endorse Sen. John McCain's presidential bid, according to sources close to the Arizona Republican The announcement will be made Monday in New Hampshire where Lieberman's moderate credentials may well help convince influential independent voters to support McCain.

"Obviously it helps us with Independents in New Hampshire" said a McCain source familiar with the endorsement. "But the real reason Lieberman is endorsing McCain is because he believes that John is the best candidate on issues of national security and the candidate most prepared to fight war against radical Islamic extremists."

Now, I know this is going to shock a lot of people. Take, for example, those people just waking up from a coma that they went into on October 31, 2000. They'll be stunned to find out that Lieberman is endorsing McCain, especially since that endorsement is based on McCain invading Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Algeria, Indonesia, Iraq (again), Morocco, and Monaco, the last two because Lieberman knows one of them is Islamic, and so better safe than sorry.

Also surprised will be beltway Democrats, who will be shocked -- shocked! -- to find out that Joe Lieberman is not a liberal Democrat. I mean, back in 2006, they were apoplectic about Democrats supporting Ned Lamont's campaign against Lieberman, because, I mean, who could be mad at Joe? Joe's a great guy! He' incumbent. That's practically like being made of pure joy!

But nobody will be more surprised than the nation's media, who will trumpet this as Lieberman crossing party lines to endorse McCain, despite the fact that the Joe for Joe Party has always been about conservatism. Of course, our beltway media can't be bothered to notice that Lieberman's been to the right of Dick Cheney on national defense since at least 2002. No, frankly, I'm sure they'll blame the mean Connecticut Democrats who wouldn't embrace Joe. They made Joe angry, and the poor guy had to go endorse John McCain. What choice did he have?

My creation

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