The New York Times, as we all know, is the leading weapon in the left's ongoing attempts at creating a liberal fascist state in America. If left unchecked, the Times would create a horrible world where people are forced to have safe food, the government requires people to have adequate housing, and the jackbooted thugs in our government do the worst thing imaginable -- raise taxes by a few percentage points on the rich. Truly a dystopic world, and that's why it's a good thing that there continue to be people within the Times working to bring the newspaper down from within, lest that horrible future come to pass.
How else to explain the fact that the Times has now hired Bill Kristol to be its new columnist? I mean, it's a truly shrewd decision; Kristol's record of being wrong about absolutely everything, all the time, can only do serious damage to the Times credibility. I mean, Kristol's the guy who said of Iraq, "There's been a certain amount of pop sociology in America ... that the Shia can't get along with the Sunni and the Shia in Iraq just want to establish some kind of Islamic fundamentalist regime. There's almost no evidence of that at all. Iraq's always been very secular." That's a statement so wrong it can serve as the very illustration of wrong, and yet for Kristol, it's just par for the course.
I mean, he also said, in April of 2003, "The battles of Afghanistan and Iraq have been won decisively and honorably. But these are only two battles. We are only at the end of the beginning in the war on terror and terrorist states." Or in 2004, "What the Bush administration did say--and what so many reporters seem to have trouble understanding--is that Iraq and al Qaeda had a relationship that, by its very existence, posed a potential threat to the United States." Or in 2005, "All this made me think the 2006 elections could result in a Speaker Pelosi. I now think that unlikely. Pelosi's endorsement today of the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq makes the House Democrats the party of defeat, the party of surrender." Or in 2006, "Once every twenty five years some bridge falls down unexpectedly due to engineering problems and it is unfortunate obviously but the idea that the whole country is crumbling is not, I think, credible."
He's the King of Wrong. He makes Bob Shrum look like the Oracle at Delphi. And now he's going to be writing at the Times. And the right is that much closer to destroying the Gray Lady, and bringing about victory for the conservatives for all eternity.
I mean, that's gotta be the plan. The only other possibility is that someone actually thinks Bill Kristol's ramblings are still worth money. But that would be insane.