Atheists Stunned by Amazing Toast that Does Not Resemble Charles Darwin Whatsoever

Darwin ToastAtheists worldwide were amazed by images of toast that did not seem to resemble Charles Darwin in any way, shape, or form.

The image, said nonbelievers, was further evidence that there is no God, and that the universe is what it is by chance, not by the hand of a creator. But religious leaders were quick to counsel that the toast may be significant nevertheless.

Details appeared first on the Atheist News Service, based in Massachusetts, which specializes in irreligious broadcasts. They reported that the toast, served to Richard Dawkins at breakfast one Tuesday, did not reflect the image of the man who first advanced the concept of evolution.

Noted atheist P.Z. Myers, a scientist and someone who did not ever meet Charles Darwin, said he was convinced the toast did not show Darwin.

"As you can see from the photograph, this toast doesn't look anything like Darwin. Just plain, ordinary toast. Maybe if you squint, you can see a squid...no, I'm just kidding. It just looks like toast."

Noted anti-Catholic bigot Melissa McEwan agreed.

"I'm sure it's delicious with butter, but it doesn't even resemble Christopher Hitchens, much less the author of The Origin of the Species."

Religious leaders were quick to downplay the significance of the toast.

"Well...I mean, maybe if you look closely, you could see St. Paul, but...hey, is that an image of Mary in that garbage bag?" said Jarek Cielecki, a Polish priest and close friend of Pope John Paul II.

Atheists were quick to point out the many places where images of Darwin have not appeared, ranging from trees to the ocean to their cousin Joe's house, when they spilled the beer and it sort of puddled up and caught the sunlight just so.

"This is truly an amazing time to be alive," said Myers, "with all the constant lack of proof that we see."

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