Excuse me, ma'am...yes, you...uhh, you're giving the other passengers some seriously uncomfortable hard-ons. As this is Southwest, we don't really have the cabin space to accommodate such an upsurge in engorged tissue, so you're going to have to deplane. Bu-Bye now.
You know, this sets a dangerous precedent. I mean, my hair is really cute. What if people start complaining? I should get a hat.