Okay, now I've heard everything

"Cosmetic" surgery for the woman who doesn't like the way her crotch looks. I am not making this up. They're re-shaping the inner and/or outer labia. They're also going for vaginal tightening and, I kid you not, "G-spot enhancement."

Teenagers are telling doctors they want this surgery. Apparently it's been on some TV shows or other.

Don't get me wrong, some female genital surgery is medically necessary. For instance, tissues can tear during childbirth and reconstructive surgery is essential. That's not what this is about.

This is "cosmetic." Cosmetic! I mean, honestly, you may have x-ray vision, but it seems to me that most of the time the anatomy in question is cleverly concealed, even on a naked woman. And when it's not, people tend to have other things on their mind than vaginal beauty contests.

To get some science into this, although what I'm really doing is just sputtering, I'll point out a few things. The labia are highly erogenous. What's the point of reducing the size of that erogenous zone and then trying to increase the G-spot? (The G-spot, just to define terms, is a noticeably rougher patch on the front wall of the vaginal mucosa, at about the level of the pelvic floor muscles.) The G-spot's function depends on nerve endings and how well the signal gets through to and connects in the brain. There's no surgery currently known that can do anything about that, so what the hell are they selling here?

Vaginal tightening will do very little. The feeling of tightness depends on the tone of the pelvic floor muscles, and on the degree of blood flow, i.e. on how turned on the woman is. I'd think the likeliest effect of taking up a bit of slack in the vaginal walls is that sex will become painful for the woman, but it won't change the feeling much for the male partner. But what do I know? I'd never even dreamed of this whole idea of reshaping genitalia before I saw this nonsense on the news.

By the way, for what it's worth, evolution works the other way around. The shape of the vagina hasn't changed much among primates, but the shape of the penis varies quite a bit among species. Depending, apparently, on what the females prefer.

Anyway, this post is for Shakers who needed something to laugh at this morning. (Even if in some ways it's gallows humor.)

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