Bringing new meaning to "hide the sausage"

As we are all aware, Alabama is a dildo-free state. Sure, there are hundreds of thousands of unregistered dildos lining the Alabama countryside, but you can't buy them there, and if you're caught selling say, a French Tickling Robo-Blammer 2000-A, you can be saddled with a year in jail.

It all just goes to show you that things continue to be roughly the same in many parts of the south of the U.S. as it is in the Middle East, where sex toys also appear to be frowned at (note: frowning at a sex toy is not the suggested usage. Generally.)

So, perhaps those in the Alabama can learn from sturdy and ingenious Middle Easterners, who have learned that if you want to get sex toys into an Islamic nation like Dubai, sometimes a game of hide the sausage is necessary.

"Man hides sex toys in the wurst way..."

BERLIN (Reuters) - Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said Wednesday.

"It was two latex dildos with a natural look," said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Mannheim.

After shopping there earlier in the day, the man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher's with two large "Schwartenmagen" sausages. He asked a shop assistant to wrap and cool them until he departed for Dubai the next day.

But the assistant noticed the goods had got heavier and alerted police. Officers discovered the man, who was about 50, had removed some of the meat and packed the dildos inside.

"He could have used a loaf of bread," the spokesman said. "It's not against the law here. But obviously I can't speculate on what customs in Dubai will have to say about it."

So sadly, the man was caught. That's because he forgot about the most important two words in the world of packing dildos into meat - weight ratios. But take heart, Alabamans. Some day the unfair sex toys laws will be overturned, and you'll be able to buy all the marital toys you want and need. And then you can get a few extras to shove up the Schwartenmagens of your politicians.


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