The Joy of Erectile Dysfunction

You know, who hasn't gathered the boys around and sung happy fun songs about their non-functioning penis?

This frightening commercial was noted by Art Vandelay, who dubbed it "the Clockwork Orange of limp dick commercials." And boy, is it ever. For those of you who don't want or care to watch it, the video consists of men singing happy lyrics about going home and getting it on, thanks to the pill that makes their penises work. Then, after singing "Viva Viagra" in what appears to be an abandoned bar in an old ghost town, the guys playfully roughhouse, but, you know, it's not homoerotic because they're just happy that they all have erections. And off they speed to bed their wives, girlfriends, mistresses, box turtles, or husbands.

It's truly a train wreck of a commercial, and it just brings to mind a few random thoughts:

1. Why does Viagra advertise? It's not like anyone doesn't know about 'em at this point. I mean, when I think "erectile dysfunction," I think "Viagra." Next, I think, "something that if I have, I'll talk to a doctor about, and not take my medical advice from crappy commercials."

2. Look, I'm all for homosociality, but you know, if I've got some Viagra for my perpetually-flaccid penis, and I've got a sweet lovin' woman waiting for me at home, and I've got a few free hours, then I think I'm going to skip jamming with the guys at the Last Chance Saloon in Jawbone Creek, and I'm going to go home. Frankly, I'd expect every one of my friends to make the same choice.

3. Moreover, I'm not going to praise ED medicines to my friends. The subject has come up randomly, and to a man, we all agree that there's nothing to be ashamed of, you should talk to a doctor, and you really shouldn't bring it up. I know, I just got done saying that men are deeper than the teevee would tell you they are, and we are. I've discussed the removal of a friend's colon and his ileostomy, and I've been quite open with my friends about my depression. But damn, there are still some things you should keep private.

4. Finally, no matter how bad the ad is, I think we can all agree on this: at least Bob Dole doesn't show up in it.

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