Boo-Hoo. You're Breaking My Heart.

Oh, my little spuds, break out the tissues. Prepare yourself to weep hot, bitter tears. For nothing, nothing could be more heartbreaking than the following news story...

Evangelical Voteres More Jaded in 2006

Oh, you poor, poor dears!!

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Christian conservatives, traditionally a reliable Republican constituency, aren't necessarily a GOP gimme this time around. There is an undercurrent of concern that some evangelicals, unhappy that the GOP-led Congress and President Bush haven't paid more attention to gay marriage and other "values" issues, may stay home on Election Day or even vote Democratic.

"Conservative Christians are somewhat disenchanted with Republicans," said Kenyn Cureton, vice president for convention relations with the executive committee of the Southern Baptist Convention, the nation's largest Protestant denomination with nearly 16 million members.

Religious conservatives are unhappy the Republican-led Congress hasn't paid enough attention to "values issues," he said, noting that even a push this summer against same-sex marriage came too late.

Yes, your hateful, marginalizing anti-gay agenda was just a little too late for these poor, ignored souls. Yes, the Republicans pandered, but they didn't pander enough, goddamn it. Where was the hate and fear? Why weren't they trying enough to smack down the gays? You mean... you mean they were just pandering to your hatred, bigotry and fear to wrangle your knuckleheaded votes? Why, those uncaring bastards!

(Oh, and the day "conservative evangelicals" start voting Democratic because the Republicans aren't spoon-feeding them enough hate, I'll eat my energy dome.)

"It has not escaped our notice that they waited until just a few months from the November elections to address our agenda," Cureton said

Wow, you guys have razor sharp observation skills.

Jonathan Gregory, 38, a deacon at Grace Baptist Church in Bethpage, Tenn., said he may not vote GOP this fall, even though he considers himself a Republican and has voted for President Bush.

"I will vote conservative across the board, depending on the candidates' stance on abortion, gay marriage and their support of the military," Gregory said.

Uh... hate to tell you this, Jonathan old bean, but if you're planning on voting "conservative across the board," you're going to be voting GOP. These bozos may not be conservative enough for your tastes, but even a right-leaning Democrat won't be vicious enough to get your vote.

Of course, you're more than welcome to vote third party. Let me know how that works out for you.

The Colorado-based Focus on the Family has started voter registration drives in eight states, according to the group's Web site. The Southern Baptist Convention is helping promote a Focus on the Family DVD about gay marriage.

The DVD and booklet about gay marriage entitled "Why Not Gay Marriage?" aims to "equip Christians with answers to some of the most often asked questions in the gay marriage debate."

Neither group is endorsing candidates, which they're not allowed to do because of their tax-exempt status, but they are encouraging Christians to vote on "values issues," Cureton said.

What complete horseshit. If a liberal church can be investigated by the IRS for an anti-war sermon - which wasn't exactly "endorsing a candidate" - then these slimeballs should definitely have the IRS crawling all over them for this. If you take an anti-war sermon as an endorsement for the Democratic party, then you have to apply the same logic in reverse. The last time I checked, the Republican party was leading the big push for "traditional marriage." Therefore, this is an endorsement for the Republican party. Therefore, bye-bye tax exempt status.

Watch me hold my breath.

Church coordinator duties include "encouraging pastors to speak about Christian citizenship, conducting a voter registration drive, distributing voter guides and get-out-the-vote efforts." County coordinators recruit "key evangelical churches, friends and family and supporting church coordinators with periodic phone calls."

Oh man, the IRS is all over these people like a bad suit...

...wait, they're not? It's perfectly okay?

Well, color me shocked.

Those efforts are continuing this year, with churches holding nonpartisan voter registration drives and pastors encouraged to preach on "values issues," particularly since conservative Christians may be disillusioned this time around, Cureton said.

Waaah, waaah, waaah. I'm just heartbroken that your hate isn't being paid attention to by your evil overlords. You know something? Welcome to the fucking club. I'm not about to shed a tear over your frustration that Republicans aren't "paying enough attention to the gay marriage issue," when it's specifically designed to marginalize me and turn me into a second-class citizen. Especially when the government doesn't give a good goddamn about what I think.

You've got it all. You've got an insanely religious country, a Jebus-spouting lunatic in the White House, more money than you could ever use, the ear of the press, hell, the press itself, tax-exempt status (if you're conservative), and complete protection of the law. George W. Bush has done nothing but pander to you and your ideals since he first started running for office. Conservative Christians, especially White ones, have it better than anyone else in this country, when it comes to their ideals being considered for legislation.

Meanwhile, I'm ignored by Federal Civil Rights laws.

As far as the government is concerned, LGBT Americans Citizens shouldn't even exist.

Cry me a fucking river, you whiny pricks.

UPDATE: And another thing that popped into my head after this rant...

Every time that we've tried to enact Federal Protection for the LGBT community- for shit you take completely for granted, by the way- it's been thwarted by you assholes, shrieking "special rights!"

It's not a "special right" to be protected from losing your apartment for being gay, for chrissakes.

YOU can't lose your job for being Christian. However, I can be fired for being gay. The law protects you. It could give two fucks for me.

So, again, kindly shut the fuck up.

(Tiny violin image totally stolen from Pam. I'm a big cross-post and I need a big cereal!)