The First Baptist Church dismissed Mary Lambert on Aug. 9 with a letter explaining that the church had adopted an interpretation that prohibits women from teaching men. She had taught there for 54 years.Why? Because the church has adopted “a literal interpretation of the Bible.” In the letter, they cited the passage that led to their decision (which is also, as it happens, one of the first verses I would cite to anyone who asks why you’ll never again find my ass in a pew):
The letter quoted the first epistle to Timothy: "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."Fuck that noise.
Back in the day when I started asking obnoxious questions at church, like, “What’s the dealio with the dinosaur bones, Preach?” the prohibition on women teaching men (which the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church uses to justify its ban on female ministers, congregation presidents, etc.) was another of my “issues.” The minister had no good answer, natch, for why women could be Sunday School teachers but not ministers, but my mom—one of the all-female staff of Sunday School teachers—explained to me that if they passed a rule saying only men could teach Sunday School, there wouldn’t be any more Sunday School. And thusly did feminism blossom in my budding bosom.
(Disclaimer: This is not satire.)
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