Do you still own a favorite toy you had as a kid? If so, what it is? If not, is there one you really miss?
Daily Round-up
Shakes: The Separation of Church and Hate
Zack: You almost get a cookie!
Shakes: Two-minute nostalgia sublime
Shakes: An epidemic of hatred
Shakes: Happy Blogiversary to Pam…and Jill…and Shayera!
Spudsy: Morans
Shakes: Bush to the rescue!
Shakes: Con Artist indeed
Shakes: The Worst Parents in the World
Spudsy: $1,318 profit per second
Waveflux: Well of Regret
Shakes: Borders before Bedtime
Shakes: No Romance
Spudsy: More Morans
Spudsy: Savage is Scum
Spudsy: Get Your Image Warz On!
Tart: Monster House
Shakes: Coulter the Craptacular
Shakes: Caption This Photo
Shakes: Good News for Florida
Shakes: Plan for Plan B
Spudsy: Nothing matters without fair elections
Shakes: Bad News for Florida
Shakes: Gilded Age, Part II
The Second Gilded Age Has Arrived
And I’d like to congratulate the minimum wage workers on their $4,368 raise, and the heirs and heiresses of $10 million estates on their $2.76 million raises, which works out to about 183 years of income for a full-time minimum wage earner.
New American Gothic, bitchez. That’s what I’m talking about. Go USA!
America 2.0
Do I find this appalling more because it’s yet another hallmark of a burgeoning fascist state, or more because it’s an infuriating affront to my intellectual capacity? Hard to say.
Although American students are typically taught a sanitized version of history in which the inherent superiority and benevolence of the United States is rarely challenged, the social and political changes unleashed in the 1960s have opened up some space for a more honest accounting of our past. But even these few small steps taken by some teachers toward collective critical self-reflection are too much for many Americans to bear.There’s more at the link. Honestly, this is just disgusting. I don’t even know what to say anymore, except that I’m really sorry for anyone who’s got kids in the public education system in Florida.
So, as part of an education bill signed into law by Gov. Jeb Bush, Florida has declared that "American history shall be viewed as factual, not as constructed." That factual history, the law states, shall be viewed as "knowable, teachable and testable."
Florida’s lawmakers are not only prescribing the specific view of U.S. history that must be taught (my favorite among the many specific commands in the law is the one about instructing students on "the nature and importance of free enterprise to the United States economy"), but are trying to legislate out of existence any ideas to the contrary. They are not just saying that their history is the best history, but that it is beyond interpretation. In fact, the law attempts to suppress discussion of the very idea that history is interpretation.
(Thanks to Shaker Cassie for passing that one along.)
None of This Matters Without Fair Elections
So, "If you're an American over a certain age, you can vote," eh? A nice little thought, there... but of course, it doesn't matter at all if your vote doesn't count.
Worst Ever Security Flaw Found in Diebold Voting Machine
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA -- “This may be the worst security flaw we have seen in touch screen voting machines,” says Open Voting Foundation president, Alan Dechert. Upon examining the inner workings of one of the most popular paperless touch screen voting machines used in public elections in the United States, it has been determined that with the flip of a single switch inside, the machine can behave in a completely different manner compared to the tested and certified version.
Read the whole thing. This is too important to not read the whole thing. If you have a blog, make some noise. There's pictures, too. Go, go!
UPDATE: Links A Plenty at Brad Blog.
Hello, Good News
It’s nice to see you again.
The Food and Drug Administration said today it is considering approval of the morning-after pill for sale without a prescription, a surprise move on an issue that has ensnared the agency in debate for years.If the plan is approved, it would likely legalize OTC purchases of Plan B only for women 18 and older, but that would be a damn fine start.
Discussions between the government and Barr Laboratories, which manufactures the drug, known as Plan B, are set to begin immediately and could be completed “in a matter of weeks,” the agency said in a statement.
Introducing…
…the Florida Progressive Coalition Blog. There's a ton of good stuff on offer, including a Wiki, mission statement, and donation link. Some of our favorite bloggers, including T. Rex, and one of Shakes’ contributors, Litbrit, are members, and they’re dedicated to turning Florida blue! So stop on by, say hello, and add them to your blogrolls.
Caption This Photo
President Bush speaks at the U.S. Coast Guard Integrated Support Command,
Monday, July 31, 2006, in Miami Beach, Fla. (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)
Ann Coulter: Still an Asshole
The High Priestess of Diarrheic Spewage recently gave an interview to BeliefNet (hat tip No More Mister Nice Blog, or NAMBLA), and I’m honestly having a hard time coming up with my favorite quote. I’m really torn between “[I]t's become increasingly difficult to distinguish the pronouncements of the Episcopal Church from the latest Madonna video,” “Most of the time, I'm an extraordinarily good Christian,” and “I think Cindy Sheehan is enjoying the celebrity status her son's death afforded her too. Thanks for pointing that out—I'll correct it in the paperback edition.”
Mostly, though, I’m just impressed with her unbelievable rudeness toward her interviewer, culminating in “Your question is incomprehensible,” in response to a question that was, by any measure, totally comprehensible.
Quick Movie Review/ Advice
Monster House: Enjoyed it very much. Very good dialogue, not the lazy family-friendly writing that usually accompanies these kind of movies. Better writing even than that found in Pixar films, which I think too often goes with what's safe rather than what's interesting. A good example would be Cars, which was totally boring. This one, however, made me laugh. A lot. But a little advice for parents and caretakers of children: Don't take young kids to this one. It's too scary. I'd say it'll result in nightmares for kids under eight, and depending on the kid, maybe the eights and nines as well.
Of course, there were the usual genuises in the theater who thought it would be fun to take their three-year-old to a 10 PM movie with the word "monster" in it, but whatever.
Now Go Away or I Shall Taunt You a Second Time!
Last week, I attempted to start a new fun Friday Feature; one of us could post a weird picture from the internets, and enjoy the no doubt hilarious comments that it would produce.
But, no... someone had to get clever!
So, Punkasses... I'm looking at you, R. Mildred... we accept your Image Warz challenge. I'll see your Anime-cute, yet ridiculously NSFW "Hello Menses" picture, and raise you this picture of the lunch menu of the damned. (Possibly not WS.)
Eat up, bitchez!
Apparently, Someone Out There Still Thinks This is Worth Broadcasting
See, they were right...the Voting Rights Act isn't necessary in America, because obviously, racism doesn't exist anymore.
On the July 27 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio program, Michael Savage suggested that the purpose of the recently passed 25-year extension of the Voting Rights Act is to "put voting machines in crack houses." Acknowledging that "I don't really know what they mean by reaffirming the Voting Rights Act," Savage nonetheless asked whether the extension would ensure that there is "a chad in every crack house" and voting machines in "prisons."
From the July 27 broadcast of Talk Radio Network's The Savage Nation:SAVAGE: I don't really know what they mean by reaffirming the Voting Rights Act. Do they mean they're going to put a chad in every crack house? What are they going to do -- spend 10 billion dollars to make sure they have voting machines in crack houses?
[...]
SAVAGE: What is this Voting Rights Act reauthorization? What is this big deal? If you're an American over a certain age, you can vote. What are they talking about? What is this nonsense? What does [Rev. Al] Sharpton want, what does [Rev. Jesse] Jackson want? A couple of hundred million dollars to put voting machines in crack houses? What does he want? I don't get it -- and prisons?
Because, you know, the minorities that the Act is protecting are only in crack houses and prisons, after all.
Bolds are theirs, although I probably would place emphasis on the "If you're an American over a certain age, you can vote" comment as well. Apparently, Savage hasn't paid the slightest bit of attention to the last two Presidential elections.
Audio at the link, if you can stomach it.
(C is for cross-post, that's good enough for me...)
More Morans
And the hits just keep coming. The "Minutemen" sticker just adds that perfect little touch. Le sigh.
(Another Energy Dome tip to Grendel.)
Stupid Things That Irritate Me
#132 on an infinite list: References to “the romance of the antiwar left.”
I don’t find anything romantic about being antiwar. I don’t find myself filled with a desire to glorify or wax rhapsodic about the current antiwar movement, nor any previous antiwar movements. In fact, I find the obligation to assert opposition to a war heart-wrenching, depressing, infuriating, and often rather tedious. There is nothing glamorous or fun about contemplating a war to which one objects, and if I’m part of some “antiwar left movement,” it’s not because I’m desperate to join in a group that makes me feel special or hearkens back to some glory days that allegedly existed before I was fucking born. It's because I'm expressing my personal beliefs, and whether I'm writing a wonkish piece on national security implications while wearing a business suit, or grousing about it braless and gripping a blunt, doesn't change the underlying principle for me one bloody iota.
For full debunking, hop on over to Digby.
Borders before Bedtime
A few years ago, Mr. Shakes’ dad bought him an atlas for Christmas. It’s the tenth edition of The Times Comprehensive Atlas of the World, and the thing is absolutely massive, with page after page of amazingly detailed maps and images and satellite photos. Saying it’s a handy reference is an understatement.
Last night, Mr. Shakes was telling me about Boudica, which segued into a discussion about early British history, and, as we spoke about the Saxons and Picts and the expansion of the Roman Empire, we pulled out the atlas, so we could trace history’s movements. We laid side by side on the floor, and stretched out the immense book in front of us, our shoulders bumping as we reached to trace lines through Scandinavia or to turn the page for a closer look at northern Britain.
We traveled to Oceania, and the Americas, and Asia, lingering in the Middle East to examine the borders that are ever in the news, and marveling that one continent could hold so many vastly different cultures. Syria, India, and Japan all on one map, defined by one continental border. It seems so strange.
Mr. Shakes flipped to the map of the U.S. It was the first time in awhile either of us had seen a map of the country that wasn’t broken down into red and blue. My index finger of my right hand landed on Nantucket, just as his left found San Francisco. The whole country, within our collective reach. Mr. Shakes remembered finding in the atlas the small Indiana town in which we now live, and showing his father where he was moving.
The world seemed smaller and smaller as I looked at countries and thought of people I’d met from each. The French soldier who’d been my student in an English conversation class. The Indonesian coworker I’d had, a brilliant artist who used to send me into fits of convulsive laughter with stories about his mother’s dachshunds fighting the local monkeys. The Ukranian exchange student who’d been a pal for her short stay. My Danish penpal, who I’d met just once in England while we were both there. My former neighbor from Nigeria. My childhood friend from Vietnam. And on and on, coupled with memories of being an American abroad, and all the curious questions disclosing my home would inevitably elicit.
Eventually, we tore ourselves away from the atlas, and the Scotsman and the American went to their bed.
This morning, I read the news, and the world seemed very big again. The borders people create around themselves are often so frustratingly impenetrable, can make us seem worlds apart, even when we’re in the same room.
Our conversation last night began with wars, the protracted battle for Britain, so one might conclude that the problem of borders, national and personal and all in between, is simply part of the human condition. Intractable. Never to be solved. But the sense of the world being small, the camaraderie between people from distant shores that makes borders seem, even if momentarily, unnecessary, is part of the human condition, too. A better part. Nobler. I've no solution, no conclusion. I'm just going to spend more time with my atlas, and try to keep close the feelings it evokes.
Returning to the well of regret
Apparently, if you're the prime minister of Israel, you can issue essentially the same apology for killing women and children in Qana...
"I would like to express my deep sorrow at the death of innocent civilians," the sources quoted Mr Olmert as telling Cabinet ministers at their weekly meeting.
...as you used when you blew UN observers all to hell...
“The prime minister expressed Israel’s deep regret over the mistaken killing of four U.N. peacekeepers,” Olmert said in a statement released by his office.
...without having to actually change your behavior:
Israel continued to attack targets in Lebanon even after agreeing to a 48-hour halt to its broad bombing campaign in the face of an outcry over the air raid on Sunday that left dozens of Lebanese civilians dead.
The well of regret runs deep indeed.
(Cross-posted.)
Times are Tough, Folks...
It cost me $40 to fill my tank with gas yesterday. I almost had a heart attack. One of the reasons that I'm very glad the husband and I are moving downtown is our proximity to work. We'll both be able to take the bus to work from now on; one car can be removed from the picture, and we can keep the Mini in the garage, to be used only when absolutely necessary. One of my first purchases after we move will be a bike.
I've been trying to use the air conditioning as little as possible, because my car simply eats gas when the AC is on and I'm driving in city traffic. My high 20's to low 30's average MPG suddenly becomes 19 MPG. I think I'd rather sweat than have to throw another forty bucks into my car every few days.
I'd imagine many of you are having the same issue. There are those of you that don't have the "luxury" of easily accessible public transportation and are forced to drive. There are those of you that have to, for whatever reason, own a much larger car, so it costs double or triple what it costs me to fill your car with gas.
I just want you to keep these woes and worries in mind when you read this next sentence.
This summer, Exxon Mobil made a profit of $1,318 in profit every second.
Every. Second.
The Senate's response? Why, voting on offshore drilling, of course.
Because the only cure for high oil prices is more oil.
(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to August. I know you cross-post, but what am I?)
Proof is in the Pedophilia
This is exactly why we can’t let those damn dirty gays foster and adopt kids.
Oh, wait. You’re telling me that it was a straight couple who so heinously abused their kids that Daddy got five life sentences on five rape charges and 96 additional years on 12 charges of pandering sexually oriented material involving a minor and Mommy got 40 years for two charges of rape and four counts of child endangering?
Huh.
Well, then this is exactly why we can’t let those damn dirty straights have kids! No kids for anyone, because some parents suck.
Meltdown
Who’da thunk it? Spewing anti-Semitic slurs might affect the career of someone who depends on public goodwill for his success.
His most immediate issue is with Walt Disney Co., which is distributing "Apocalypto" and which also, through its ABC television network, has a development deal with his company to make a miniseries about the Holocaust.Con Artist indeed.
…[T]he Holocaust project, to be adapted from a little-known 1998 memoir called "Flory: Survival in the Valley of Death," which recounts the experiences of a young Dutch Jew during World War II, is in the early stages. An ABC spokeswoman Sunday would confirm only that the project was in development and that executives would wait to see a finished script before deciding whether to go into production on the proposed miniseries. Gibson and his spokesman, Alan Nierob, have said little about the project, which is backed by Gibson's Con Artists Productions, the TV division of his Icon Productions.
Disney’s really gone down the shitter if they’re willing to move ahead with a Holocaust miniseries made by an anti-Semite, especially when they refused to distribute Fahrenheit 9/11 and Dogma for being too controversial.
(Hat tip Holly.)
Rest assured…
…peace in the Middle East is on its way, because President Bush is on the case.
“I’m monitoring the situation in the Middle East very closely,’’ Bush said this morning, in a speech at the Port of Miami.He’s a real stunner, that Bush. It really casts into stark relief how much better he is than all our other presidents when he comes out with radically brilliant new approaches to a millennia-old conflict like “monitoring very closely” and “wanting peace.”
…"We want there to be a long-lasting peace, one that's sustainable.”
The world would be a better place if Clinton had spent less time getting blowjobs and more time devising ingenious strategies like Operation Monitor and Want.
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Misspelled Words
Remember this classic?
Then you'll love the sequel.
"Honk for English, indeed."
(Tip of the energy dome to my buddy Grendel for the image)
An Epidemic of Hatred
There have been two episodes of gay-bashing in California in the last week. In the first, three men stood outside a gay club yelling epithets at entering patrons, then smashed a window, then got into a physical fight with patrons who confronted them. Then yesterday, a graver attack was mounted on three gay men leaving San Diego Pride festivities. They were taunted, struck with a baseball bat, and one may have been stabbed. (All three received serious, but not life-threatening, injuries.)
Recently, a lesbian couple in Maine had their home left in ruins after an attack which included anti-gay messages scrawled on the walls, smashed and stolen property, and urination and defecation throughout.
These closely follow a similar pattern seen around the country last summer, during which in July alone, a gay club in Brownsville, Texas was torched, and the week before that, the only gay club in Fayetteville, Arkansas was torched, and earlier in July, a gay-friendly UCC church was tagged with anti-gay graffiti and then torched.
Three big stories in one month, two years in a row—and only stories of attacks so vicious they made the news, and only the local and alternative national news, at that.
Consider for a moment the stories you see on the nightly news. Try to recall the scare stories that are built up around two children nationwide getting injured by a faulty toy, or three people nationwide having died from side effects of a medication, or ten people in your city having been attacked by pit bulls over the last twenty years. “A rash of incidents.” “An epidemic.” “What can we do?” “What you need to know to protect yourself.”
Consider that after two women died after taking RU-486 (after it has been dispensed over half a million times), two anti-choice Senators jumped to propose legislation that would suspend the use of the drug.
Consider that as the Senate passed legislation to federally criminalize the evasion of parental notification laws, the Republican Senator who wrote the legislation justified it by saying, “If it is happening 20 times a year, it is still worth doing to protect those parental rights and to protect those children from being in these kinds of situations.”
Consider that the flag-burning amendment was deemed a necessity, though only something like five flags have burned in decades.
Consider that the Pledge Protection Act was deemed a necessity, on the possibility that someone might bring a legal challenge based on the phrase “Under God.”
Consider that one of the primary rationales among opponents of marriage equality is that it must be prevented lest preposterous hypotheticals about men wanting to marry dogs come to fruition.
How little it takes to whip up the media into an exploitative frenzy, all in the name of “protecting” us. How little it takes to move our Congress to pay attention to an issue and pass legislation to “protect” us. (Which is, of course, ever an excuse to limit our rights, but they nonetheless claim it’s about “protection.”) One or two incidents, or, sometimes, just an imaginary scenario of what might happen. That’s all it takes.
But in the course of two months, there have been at least six vicious attacks on the LGBT community, and the media is silent. And Congress, well, they were pushing for an amendment to deny equal rights to same-sex couples. Their focus was “protecting the sanctity of marriage.” They’re more concerned with protecting an institution, an abstract concept, than protecting people.
When churches throughout the South were being burned, it was national news. When a hate crime at Seattle’s Jewish Federation claimed the life of someone the other day, it was national news. And it should have been, in both cases. But an epidemic of hatred against the LGBT community in this country is not garnering the same attention—even as Congress pursues discriminatory legislation and courts are ruling against challengers to marriage inequality.
Think there’s a correlation?
The anti-gay hysteria that’s leading to an epidemic of hate crimes against the LGBT community is constantly being inflamed by the GOP’s use of gay rights as a wedge issue, their use of anti-gay rhetoric, their exploitation of anti-gay sentiment. And even with people being attacked and their homes being burned, the Dems can’t be arsed to take a bloody principled stand. And the media doesn’t care. They’ve finally got a real epidemic on their hands and it’s utter silence.
So I guess it’s up to us.
Write your Congress members and your local media and tell them to pay attention to this Epidemic of Hatred against the LGBT community. Donate to LGBT advocacy groups. Straight people, register your support with Atticus Circle and PFLAG. And keep talking about this. Blog this issue. Tell anyone who will listen and get them involved.
Hatred flourishes in silence. Let’s make some noise.
Yeah, but- wonkish?
Another writer explains the exceedingly obvious- Why We Need Al Gore.
Hey, the more they say it, the more likely it is to come true, right? No reason to go over it again- that’s more the job of Shakes than me, since I get all my information from her anyway (which is why I know that, like the Holy Trinity, Morrissey and Gore are most likely aspects of the same individual)- but it’s always comforting whenever common sense principles take a step towards mainstream acceptance.
Still, this is worth mentioning (emphasis mine):
As reported by the American Prospect in April, Gore feels strongly that today's media is failing in its duty to inform the public. Former FCC chairman and longtime Gore friend Reed Hundt summed it up like this: "Gore's own view is that he sighed noisily in the debate and used the wrong telephone line to ask for money and the media said these are momentous events. Meanwhile, they ignore global warming and the failure to catch Osama and the destruction of the safety net."Sigh. Man, sometimes they get so close, you almost want to give them the cookie anyway. Still, the fact that a simple close rereading of her own article might have clued the author in on the problem makes it easier to keep the cookie for myself (ooo, butterscotch...). She mentions the media’s tendency to fixate on unimportant flubs over actual issues, but fails to recognize that these flub obsessions are bizarrely focused on non-Republican candidates. Why else would we even be talking about “gaffes” as destructive when we have a two-term president whose inability to speak above a fifth grade level is so widely accepted it’s barely even remarked on anymore?
So true. Dean's candidacy imploded due to "the scream"; John Kerry's 20-year record of public service in the Senate was boiled down to, "I actually did vote for the $87-billion before I voted against it." The media treat the presidential race as if it were a contest for student body president, where one's gaffes and quirks are more important than the issues. No wonder Gore is reluctant to try again.
The fact is, the so called "liberal" press covers elections by stereotyping candidates as quickly as possible. Which is why people still think of Al Gore as "boring," Howard Dean as "crazy," and, of course, George W. as "a regular guy". If a Gore or Dean makes a mistake- or even does something that can be misinterpreted as a mistake- that makes it all the easier to categorize them. When you have public figures represented by simple memes, you no longer have to deal with the ardous (and possibly boring) task of presenting the audience with actual information. And once a meme gets spread to the masses, it's nearly impossible to argue away, especially in the short period of time each candidate has to get their image across before elections. Which is why people keep on making tired "Gore invented the Internet" jokes.
So, Ms. Blumner got it half right. By pretending as though the media's treatment of politicians is wrong for all parties, she perpetuates the myth that the Democrats, while victims of poor treatment, were at least partly at fault, because hell, the Republicans haven't lost two presidential elections in a row, and if their boo-boos are getting just as much scrutiny, and they're still able to "connect" with the people, then man, those Democrats sure do suck, eh? Eh?
Quote of the Day
“[If I were running against conservatives,] I would make up a campaign commercial almost entirely of Donald Rumsfeld’s press conferences, because the man is looking — I mean, it’s not just that he seems like a bad Secretary of [Defense]. He seems literally in a parallel universe and slightly deranged.” — Fareed Zakaria (via State of the Day)
Mel Apologizes
Singles out deputies who had to withstand his abuse, but can’t manage a few words to the Jews he accused of being “responsible for all the wars in the world.”
Pam’s got the Freeper round-up.
The Separation of Church and Hate
The NY Times profiles a conservative evangelical preacher, the Reverend Gregory A. Boyd, who’s getting fed up with the unholy alliance between conservative Christianity and conservative politics. He’s written a book called The Myth of a Christian Nation: How the Quest for Political Power Is Destroying the Church, which is based on a series of six sermons entitled “The Cross and the Sword.” The sermons, which he gave before the last presidential election, “said the church should steer clear of politics, give up moralizing on sexual issues, stop claiming the United States as a ‘Christian nation’ and stop glorifying American military campaigns.”
His megachurch congregation was not totally pleased.
By the time the dust had settled, Woodland Hills, which Mr. Boyd founded in 1992, had lost about 1,000 of its 5,000 members.But there were also congregants who thanked him—those who feel relief from the burden of expectation that being a Christian necessarily means being a Bush supporter, and those who are increasingly concerned that the conflation of religion and politics is doing a disservice to both.
“More and more people are saying this has gone too far — the dominance of the evangelical identity by the religious right,” Mr. McLaren said. “You cannot say the word ‘Jesus’ in 2006 without having an awful lot of baggage going along with it. You can’t say the word ‘Christian,’ and you certainly can’t say the word ‘evangelical’ without it now raising connotations and a certain cringe factor in people. Because people think, ‘Oh no, what is going to come next is homosexual bashing, or pro-war rhetoric, or complaining about ‘activist judges.’”
Spot-on. Jesus has been hijacked as a political operative by people who have forgotten that the separation of church and state was designed to protect the church as much as the state. Christianity’s central figure cannot be redesigned as a gun-toting, gay-bashing, flag-draped ideological icon without fundamentally and inexorably altering the religion itself—particularly how it is regarded by those outwith its margins. Christians who don’t want to be associated with the reimagined Jesus have a right—and an obligation—to denounce his being co-opted into the spokesman for Überpatriot Dominionism. Christian Supremacists are rebranding Christ, and hence Christianity. This is nothing if not a marketing war.Understandably, it’s a game that Christians who don’t regard Jesus as a mascot don’t want to play, but the Christian Supremacy movement in America is a business. Millions and millions of dollars are raised every year by people professing to preach The Word in exchange for a few dollars (and a few more, and a few more) in the collection baskets, but all they’re really doing is selling a product—a way to cope with a changing world that robs bigots of their undeserved dominion, that tells them they really, at long last, must share equality with non-Christians, the LGBT community, strong women, minorities, and immigrants in the public sphere. They are losing control they were never meant to have, and Christianity 2.0 sells them the righteous anger and victimhood they need.
In these desperate people, the hate peddlers have found a ripe market for their wares. The hungry buyers come to the churches and the political rallies with money burning holes in the pockets of their sensible trousers, and they leave satiated, their bellies full of (self-)righteous indignation, with a determination to spread the word about the radical homosexual and feminist agendas, and a keen eye for the slightest proof that their suspicions about the dastardly fags and feminazis and liberals and brown people who threaten their way of life are all true. This is a booming business, and Falwell, Dobson, and Robertson have learned to roll out their product as efficiently as Ford and his Model-Ts.
And when a minister like Boyd fails to deliver, 20% of his congregation goes elsewhere in search of their fix.
Hate, like anything else in the American capitalist utopia, can be a splendid business, as long as there are enough interested buyers with cash in hand—and hate flogged under the auspices of religion has the added bonus of being a tax-free enterprise. It’s no surprise that Christ-cloaked bigotry is a booming industry. To Christian Supremacists, Jesus is just a logo; he doesn’t define their message any more than the Swoosh writes Nike’s mission statement. But, like any recognizable symbol to clamoring consumers, he confers upon the brand a status with which generic models just can’t compete. Your athletic skills are infinitely better with a famous insignia on your shoes, and your intolerance is remade as virtue with a savior lending his name for the dropping.
Christians who refuse to let Christ be claimed for such purposes are, whether willfully or not, the competition. (Something men like Boyd, who’s turned his views into a book for purchase, surely are beginning to recognize.) And all the rest of us, who have a vested interest in protecting our country against the ascendancy of Christian Supremacists, are consumer advocates, tasked with pointing out the flaws in their product—and questioning the existence of truth in their advertising.
(Crossposted at Ezra’s place.)
NY Times Endorses Lamont
And the Joementum goes screeeeeeeeeech.
There is no use having a senator famous for getting along with Republicans if he never challenges them on issues of profound importance.The op-ed gets it mostly right. Although they ignore, in reducing Holy Joe’s position on women’s issues to “strongly support[ive of] a woman’s right to choose,” his problematic stance on a woman’s right to get emergency birth control at any hospital. And they don’t plainly state—as Atrios did in his op-ed for the LA Times—the quote that was, I imagine, a turning point for many progressives: “we undermine presidential credibility at our nation’s peril.” Lieberman hasn’t merely “suggested” that there’s no principled space for opposition; he has promulgated that most atrocious Republican talking point which seeks to turn dissenters into traitors.
If Mr. Lieberman had once stood up and taken the lead in saying that there were some places a president had no right to take his country even during a time of war, neither he nor this page would be where we are today. But by suggesting that there is no principled space for that kind of opposition, he has forfeited his role as a conscience of his party, and has forfeited our support.
A healthy democracy is dependent on allowing for legitimate and principled dissent on national policy. Anyone, of either party, who asserts otherwise—who tries to silence dissent by force or threat or shame—doesn’t belong in Congress.
(The WaPo goes the other way today. Avedon responds.)
Another Scandalicious Soakfest
Yet more Iraq-related lies and cover-ups, the details of which are conveniently released late Friday? What a surprise:
BAGHDAD, Iraq, July 29 — The State Department agency in charge of $1.4 billion in reconstruction money in Iraq used an accounting shell game to hide ballooning cost overruns on its projects there and knowingly withheld information on schedule delays from Congress, a federal audit released late Friday has found.The Bechtel Group is an enormous multinational building, engineering, and project management conglomerate. According to The Center for Public Integrity:
The agency hid construction overruns by listing them as overhead or administrative costs, according to the audit, written by the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction, an independent office that reports to Congress and the Pentagon.
Called the United States Agency for International Development, or A.I.D., the agency administers foreign aid projects around the world. It has been working in Iraq on reconstruction since shortly after the 2003 invasion.
The report by the inspector general’s office does not give a full accounting of all projects financed by the agency’s $1.4 billion budget, but cites several examples.
The findings appeared in an audit of a children’s hospital in Basra, but they referred to the wider reconstruction activities of the development agency in Iraq. American and Iraqi officials reported this week that the State Department planned to drop Bechtel, its contractor on that project, as signs of budget and scheduling problems began to surface.
The United States Embassy in Baghdad referred questions to the State Department in Washington, which declined to comment immediately.
In April 2003, the U.S. Agency for International Development announced that Bechtel won a cost-plus-fixed-fee contract worth up to $680 million to rebuild Iraqi infrastructure such as schools, roads and sewers, as well as perform "institutional capacity building" to maintain the improvements and create "roadmaps for future longer term needs and investments." The contract had been awarded after Bechtel and five other companies, including Fluor, Louis Berger Group, Parsons and Halliburton's Kellogg, Brown & Root, were privately selected by the agency to bid. The contract also allows indemnification of the company against chemical or biological weapons, mines and other perils, according to the contract, obtained by the Center for Public Integrity through the Freedom of Information Act. In September 2003, USAID announced that, due to the poor infrastructure and deteriorating stability in Iraq, Bechtel would receive an additional $350 million on the contract, raising the contract's potential ceiling to $1.03 billion.$1.03 billion of our taxes to fund Bechtel's Iraq contract alone, and things aren't finished yet--not by a long shot. Hmmm...I wonder how those rebuilding efforts in New Orleans are going?
USAID was heavily criticized for conducting the contracting process outside of public view. USAID spokesmen said the agency used an exemption from federal contract procurement regulations that allowed it to limit competition for contracts in cases where open bidding would impair foreign aid by slowing down operations.
litbrit is shocked, just shocked, I tell you...
Girls, we need to talk.
Fellow straight girls, can we please agree that any man who has this in his bathroom will not get laid? I’m not talking about a guy who looks at that picture and thinks it’s ironically funny. I’m talking about a guy who looks at that picture and thinks it’s cool, then makes the effort to buy it, install it, stock it, and use it. If you find this in a date’s home, leave immediately and don’t look back. It’s for your own good. In fact, it’s for the good of society.
Read-Ems
Six shot, one killed at Seattle Jewish federation:
Six women were shot - one fatally - this afternoon at the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle by a man who told a witness he was upset about "what was going on in Israel."The Muslim community in Seattle was quick to condemn the attacks. I’m really, truly, ardently hoping that this horrific incident will neither be repeated elsewhere by other lunatics, nor will it provoke retribution against the Muslim community.
…The gunman, armed with what police said was a large caliber, semi-automatic handgun, forced his way through the security door at the federation after an employee had punched in her security code, Marla Meislin-Dietrich, a database coordinator for the center, told The Associated Press. "He said 'I am a Muslim American, angry at Israel,' before opening fire on everyone," Meislin-Dietrich said. "He was randomly shooting at everyone."
Minimum Wage Hike Passed By House, but of course there’s a catch:
The House last night voted to boost the minimum wage for the first time in nearly a decade while also permanently slashing the estate tax, a coupling that GOP leaders calculated might garner enough Senate support to become law.What an asshole. It now goes to the Senate, where Dems naturally will face quite a battle.
…Democrats were incensed that the GOP leadership would couple the minimum wage hike, the first increase since 1997, with an estate tax cut that would reduce federal revenue by $268 billion over the next decade, to the overwhelming benefit of the country's richest families.
"This is beyond cynical. This is disgraceful," said Rep. Jim McGovern (D-Mass.).
…"I know why you're mad," said Rep. Zach Wamp (R-Tenn.). "You've seen us really outfox you."
Bush submits new terror detainee bill:
U.S. citizens suspected of terror ties might be detained indefinitely and barred from access to civilian courts under legislation proposed by the Bush administration, say legal experts reviewing an early version of the bill.The administration is thusly seeking to authorize the Pentagon’s tribunal system, eliminating the objection that it was “not authorized by law,” and argues that McCain’s impotent torture bill “should ‘fully satisfy’ the nation's obligations under the Geneva Conventions.”
…The legislation is the administration's response to a June 29 Supreme Court decision, which concluded the Pentagon could not prosecute military detainees using secret tribunals established soon after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. The court ruled the tribunals were not authorized by law and violated treaty obligations under the Geneva Conventions, which established many international laws for warfare.
Another day, another Bush administration attempt to do an end-run around the law.
Oh My
After his arrest for drunk driving, Mel Gibson reportedly went on an anti-Semitic rant, threatened the arresting officers, and yelled at a female sergeant, “What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?”
TMZ has what it says are four pages of the original police report.
(Hat tip Holly.)
The Virtual Bar Is Open
Drink up, Johnny!
UPDATE: Mr. Shakes actually consented to letting me tape "A Message from Jiz-E Pimpskweez." I couldn't tape his face, though, so you get his feet instead. Enjoy!
Daily Round-up
Zack: Which is where our new paramilitary, robot, and skull-based brothers come in…
Shakes: Two-minute nostalgia sublime
Shakes: Haunting Bush
Shakes: Big Gay Al
Shakes: News from Shakes Manor
Shakes: Minimum wage with a twist, on the House
Shakes: Friday Cat Blogging
Spudsy: Sea monster for sale!
Shakes: USA! USA!
Spudsy: Voting rights and fair elections
Shakes: Boobophobes
Patrick: Pity the Minutemen
Spudsy: Clowns suck.
Shakes: Passion of the Cristal
Shakes: Okay, you got me…
Shakes: Clever Kitty
Shakes: Quote of the Day
Shakes: Caption This Photo
Caption This Photo
President Bush speaks to the National Association of Manufacturers about the economy and his business policies, Thursday, July 27, 2006 at a hotel in Washington. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)
Quote of the Day
“We're not going to defeat this ideology until we … go out with sufficient confidence in our own position and say, this is wrong. It's not just wrong in its methods, it's wrong in its ideas, it's wrong in its ideology, it's wrong in every single wretched reactionary thing about it. And it will be a long struggle, I'm afraid.'' — Tony Blair, talking about fighting terrorism.
Wise words, methinks, about fighting any wretched reactionary ideology, if you know what I mean.
I admit it.
I am responsible, along with all my blogging brothers and sisters, for the continuation of the Iraq War.
And while I’m at it, I may as well fess up about a few other things. Katrina? Me. Stagflation? Me, again.
Oh, and I’m real sorry about all the potholes. I just can’t help myself.
Oh, Mel
Mel Gibson has been arrested and charged with a DUI.
Gibson, 50, was pulled over early Friday while driving on the Pacific Coast Highway, said sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore. Officers on patrol reported Gibson was driving at an "excessively fast speed," he said.
He was charged with a misdemeanor and posted $5,000 bond, Whitmore said.
Gibson was not immediately available for comment.
I’m going to hell. I know.
White Holy Warriors... or, maybe not so much
The Minutemen are at each other's throats. Seems someone's been dipping in the bean jar....
A growing number of Minuteman Civil Defense Corps leaders and volunteers are questioning the whereabouts of hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of dollars in donations collected in the past 15 months, challenging the organization's leadership over financial accountability.
My GOODNESS! All those upright, patriotic American White Men... behaving like.... GANGSTERS!
Several of the group's top lieutenants have either quit or are threatening to do so, saying requests to Minuteman President Chris Simcox for a financial accounting have been ignored.
At each others' throats! Like ANIMALS!
Other Minuteman members said money promised for food, fuel, radios, computers, tents, night-vision scopes, binoculars, porta-potties and other necessary equipment and supplies never reached volunteers who have manned observation posts to spot and report illegal border crossers.
Gary Cole, the Minutemen's former national director of operations, was chief liaison to the national press corps during the group's April 2005 border watch in Arizona. He was one of the first to raise questions about MCDC finances. He personally collected "tens of thousands of dollars" in donations during the 30-day border vigil. But despite numerous requests -- many directly to Mr. Simcox -- he was never told how much money had been collected or where it went.
See? I told you that you just can't trust white people. They'll steal from you as soon as look at you. Honkies- can't trust 'em!
As eponymous has just said to me, "Once they start suing each other, it's all over."
crossposted at la frontera.
Voting Rights and Fair Elections
This is why I keep harping on the Voting Rights Act, and the importance of fair elections. If we cannot have a fair election, nothing will ever change. Nothing. It is the one true power we hold as Americans. Sure, Dubya had a photo-friendly signing of the Voting Rights Act yesterday, but true to form, the Republicans aren't taking this lying down. (The link requires a login; bugmenot didn't have any working ones, so I'm including the entire text in the blockquote.)
Senate Democrats Suggest Republicans Tried to Undercut Voting Rights ActCivil rights groups and Senate Democrats complained Thursday that even as President Bush signed a 25-year extension of expiring provisions of the Voting Rights Act into law, some Senate Judiciary Republicans might be trying to undermine it after the fact.
Yeah, those tight re-election campaigns will make you think twice, huh?
Nine of the 10 Republicans on the panel — including Chairman Arlen Specter —signed a report filed July 26 that accompanied the extension. Democrats and other advocates of the extension charge that the report could provide ammunition for future legal challenges against the 1965 law (PL 89-110).
Specter, the Pennsylvania Republican who helped speed the measure to final passage and on to the president’s desk, is an unlikely suspect for the charge of undermining the law.
He has long made clear that he wanted as thorough a legislative history as possible to ensure that the version passed by Congress withstands any potential court challenges.
“The chairman filed a committee report in order to have a comprehensive congressional record,” a Senate Judiciary aide said.
In a statement, Patrick J. Leahy of Vermont, the Judiciary Committee’s ranking member, complained that Democrats did not see the final version of the report before it was filed and had not received a copy of it since. The committee approved the bill (S 2703) on July 19 and the Senate cleared it July 20.
Committee reports are not required under Senate rules, but in practice they are prepared for most bills. When laws are challenged in court, federal judges look at committee reports, along with hearing and floor debate transcripts and conference reports, to help determine legislative intent.
Republicans John Cornyn of Texas and Tom Coburn of Oklahoma prefaced their “additional views” filed with the report by saying, “We regret that these views will be filed post enactment. The expedited process prohibited normal order.”
Brian Walsh, a spokesman for Cornyn, said committee reports, including “additional views,” were “a natural part of the legislative process.”
The Democrats’ complaints came after a ceremony on the South Lawn of the White House Thursday at which Bush signed the extension into law before an audience that included civil rights leaders and members of Congress from both parties.
The Senate cleared the extension the same day President Bush pledged his support during his first appearance before the NAACP’s annual convention. Republican senators such as Cornyn and Coburn voted in favor of the measure despite their previously stated concerns about the bill’s requirements that covered jurisdictions obtain advanced permission before changing their election procedures.
After-the-Fact Help
Democrats and advocacy group lawyers say Republicans might be trying to provide after-the-fact help to legal challenges against those provisions by including in the legislative history language that supports their position.
But a Democratic aide cited passages that are not on their face critical of the law. One reads “most of the record adduced in the House and Senate Judiciary committees is devoted to first-person accounts of alleged discrimination,” which Democrats say implies there is insufficient evidence to justify the remedies required in the bill.
“It’s outrageous that several members of that committee who signed this report who purport to support the [Voting Rights Act] show up at the signing ceremony at the same time they file this report which seeks to lay out a road map to challenge the constitutionality of the law,” said Caroline Fredrickson, director of the ACLU’s Washington office.
Leahy said the courts should look to the legislative findings included in the body of the legislation itself.
“Those findings, based on the record, were adopted by the House and unanimously by the Senate last week,” he said.
Mike DeWine of Ohio, who is in the middle of a tight re-election campaign, was the sole Republican who did not sign the report.
“He did not think the committee report was indicated in this case,” a spokesman for DeWine said.
Of course, we're still hearing "The VRA is no longer needed because so little voting discrimination occurs and that it unfairly targets the South."
Show me that minorities aren't still being disenfranchised, and maybe I'll agree with you.
(Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Cross-post Squarepants...)
Evidently, I'm On the Wrong Career Path
I should have gotten my Bachelor's in "Selling Crazy Crap on Ebay."
Ebay Sea Monster
Mermaid or sea monster or something much, much worse?
That's what the lucky (or unlucky) winner of a strange eBay auction is now hoping to find out.
The bidder "Mystery Museum" paid $1,550 for the "dead" sea monster, leading some monster watchers to speculate that the bizarre beach find will join other freakish things in some sort of public display, somewhere.
See? Do a little dumpster-diving at Universal Studios, and you too could be making thousands of dollars on a lump of latex. Some people have way too much money.
I really hope that "Mystery Museum" runs some freakshow attraction on Coney Island. That would be great.
In the meantime, I'll be looking closely at all my potato chips for any signs of Jesus.
(The Cross-post that ate Cincinnati...)
Friday Cat Blogging
These videos may be pretty dark, especially if you have a crappy old monitor like I do, particularly the second one, which on my monitor looks like a black screen in which two bright blue eyes occasionally appear, but on my camera screen looks like a very cute video of Matilda just hanging out and attacking the camera.
Laziest Cat Ever
Matilda
Oliva
Bastards
The House is set to vote today on a minimum wage increase, which is sorely needed and would, over two years, raise the current minimum wage of $5.15/hour to $7.25/hour.
But Republican Congressman and House Education & Workforce Committee Chair Howard McKeon says that the House GOP plans to attach a proposal regarding insurance plans that would create more uninsured Americans and raise premiums for small business owners.
Rep. McKeon and his allies are counting on the fact that progressive members will find the Association Health Plan proposal so repugnant that they won’t vote for the bill raising the minimum wage.I just don’t even know what to say about these people anymore. I’m beyond finding even the most bitter amusement in the irony that the flag-draped party which claims to have the market cornered on patriotism and values is repeatedly, unapologetically hostile to American principles and bad for Americans. They’re just bastards. That’s really all I can say.
News from Shakes Manor
I spent last night sprawled on the couch in front of the television like a zombie, because I’m still sick and was feeling highly pathetic. Mr. Shakes, because he is a sweet and attentive husband, brought me ice cream and sprawled out beside me, even though he hates watching television for more than about 20 minutes. We watched an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (during which Carson referred to a pair of ugly sunglasses—donned by the straight guy, Perfect Husband—as “horrendo,” which is now my new favorite word), and then So You Think You Can Dance, which provides us with the opportunity to guess how long it would take our graceless fat asses to learn each routine, and whether we’d actually die trying.
It was the SYTYCD results show, and we were predicting who would be voted off.
Mr. Shakes: It’s goona be Doonyelle.
Shakes: No chance. It’ll be Natalie.
Mr. Shakes: Doonyelle.
Shakes: Natalie.
Mr. Shakes: I’ll bet you a sip of poo it will be Doonyelle.
Shakes: That’s disgusting. Perfect Husband would never bet his wife a sip of poo.
Mr. Shakes: Well, I may bet you sips oof poo, but in every oother regard I am awesoome.
Fast forward to the special guest performer, who is Busta Rhymes. (Which was irritating, considering his recent homophobic outburst.) Anyway, I commented that “Busta Rhymes” has always been one of my favorite stage names.
Mr. Shakes: I changed my name to Jiz-E Pimpskweez.
Shakes: What?!
Mr. Shakes: Yeah, it’s my new street name. Jiz-E Pimpskweez.
Shakes: On what street—Crazy Street?
Mr. Shakes: Noo, oor street. When I goo ootside in the moorning, Carl gives me a shoot oot. “Yoo yoo yoo, Jiz-E Pimpskweez!”
[Carl is our superbly nice 80-year-old next door neighbor.]
Shakes: You’re an idiot.
Mr. Shakes: I’m gooing to start poosting oon the bloog as Jiz-E Pimpskweez.
Shakes: No, you’re not.
[He did.]
Mr. Shakes: JIZ-E PIMPSKWEEZ!!!
Shakes: I wish I had a tape recorder, so I could post this on the blog.
Mr. Shakes: Me, too. Becoose then everyoone woold knoo hoo mooch Jiz-E Pimpskweez rooles!
Big Gay Al
Al Gore, that is. According to Ann Coulter.
[CHRIS] MATTHEWS: Let me ask you about your private life. How do you know that Bill Clinton's gay?I would pay good money to see Tipper Gore tear Ann Coulter to shreds in a cage match.
COULTER: He may not be gay, but Al Gore, total fag. No, I'm just kidding. As someone, no –
MATTHEWS: That's based on your private life?
COULTER: No, that's a joke.
MATTHEWS: OK.
COULTER: That's what we call in the writing business, a joke. No, I mean, I state a manifestly obvious fact.
Friday Blogwhoring
What's the frequency, Kenneth?
Ang passed on the link to 2996, a site seeking 2,996 bloggers, each of whom will do a tribute to one 9/11 victim on its 5 year anniversary on Sept. 11 of this year. Right now, they have only 1,062 people signed up, so if you're interested, head over and get the info.
Friday Blogrollin' will return next week.
Haunted
Have you ever considered what sweet justice it would be if the chickenhawk and warmonger Bush was haunted by a soldier whose life had been sacrificed in this war of choice, who followed him everywhere, kept him awake nights, and strayed never far, leaving him with no refuge, no sanctuary, from the crushing responsibility of the lives lost at his hand, holding him to ghostly account?
What about a dead soldier’s mother?
War protester Cindy Sheehan has purchased a 5-acre plot in Crawford with some of the insurance money she received after her son was killed in Iraq.Say what you will about Cindy Sheehan, but she is willing to do what the media, Congress, and many of the American people are not—never let Bush escape from his responsibility, never give him the luxury of not being forced to confront what he has done.
The group she helps lead, Gold Star Families for Peace, says on its Web site that it will return next month to protest the war in Iraq in the small town near Waco where President Bush has a ranch. Like last year, Sheehan, whose son Casey was killed in Iraq in 2004, will again demand to meet with the president.
"We decided to buy property in Crawford to use until George's resignation or impeachment, which we all hope is soon for the sake of the world," Sheehan said in a newsletter set to be sent to supporters Thursday.
Tomorrow Belongs to We
As the facilitator of your local chapter of Focus on Family, I wanted to take some time out of my busy schedule of preventing other people from living their lives in a manner that makes me vaguely uncomfortable, to let you know about the exciting new changes you can expect to see here at FoF in the upcoming months.
Now, I realize change is not something we here at FoF are in the habit of encouraging, and I’m certainly not suggesting we move away from the compassion and concern for future generations which brought us together in the first place, but if we are to continue to be a force for good in the United States of God bless America, we need to expand our original goals and attempt to bring our message of peace, tolerance and man/woman love to everyone who needs to hear it- ie, everyone. We need to, well, not evolve, of course (ha ha!), but open our arms to other groups who share our deep-rooted commitment to spirituality and compassion, even our surface level connection with them is less than readily apparent.
To that end, I’d like to tell you some of the new partners you can expect to be seeing take arms with FoF in the coming months. Please, give a slightly less judgmental than usual welcome to:
COBRA: I’m probably most excited about this match-up. With their access to a near unlimited number of warm, potentially activist bodies, Cobra is uniquely positioned to help us spread our teachings and influence, be it through the word of Christ or laser-bearing armored vehicles. We can provide Cobra, long entrenched in their snake-based paganism, with a stronger, more relevant viewpoint, and give them the credibility they need to become major players in the American political scene. I’ve had the pleasure of talking with some of the group leaders, and while I can’t go into too much detail for security reasons, they’re strict attention to detail and amazing discipline, as well as adherence to more classical standards of nobility, give me high expectations for coming months.
DECEPTICONS: Focus on Family has a great number of resources- the ear of governments, grassroots support, the blind adherence of those so frightened by the world that they are incapable of rational thought- but what we don’t have are giant talking robots which turn into guns. That’s where the Decepticons, led by the fearsome Megatron, come in. After attempting to bring much needed structure to their home planet Cybertron, the Decepticons where forced into space, crash landing on the planet Earth four million years ago, where they lay dormant until awoken by a volcanic eruption. The fate of Earth is not their primary concern, as they are locked in a civil war against the evil, overly permissive Autobots, but they have leant us a sympathetic ear, and once we are able to properly synthesize the energon cubes the robots need to continue their freedom struggles, they have agreed to join our cause. They, too, understand what it means to be wrongly persecuted.
SKELETOR: I’ll admit, I was initially reluctant to return this fella’s phone calls. A walking, talking skeleton- who lives in a castle shaped like a skeleton- just doesn’t seem to have a place in our in vision of the future. But his persistence (and the constant influx of dead secretaries- they weren’t even my secretaries) finally got my attention, and once I heard his story, he won me over completely. Skeletor is currently trying to instill a sense of responsibility in the immature citizens of Eternia, most particular, the frivolous, decadent “Prince” Adam. Unfortunately, every time he’s found a way to force Adam to accept his shortcomings, a shirtless warrior in bikini briefs runs in with a large sword and ruins everything. Now, FoF is not a group that likes to jump to conclusions, but when you’re presented with scenario like this, it’s impossible not to read the writing on the wall. Skeletor’s crew is made of a wide variety of multi-talented individuals who can be put to great use, but our biggest concern is making sure that people like Adam- and his “He Man”- realize that their flagrant disregard of propriety and God-given moral law will not be tolerated on any level.
So, a big Focus welcome to Cobra, the Decepticons and the Skeletorians!
Now, I’m sure some of you are having doubts. Are we watering down our core message here? These new partners seem to go against the very principles our glorious movement is based on: some of them aren’t technically human, and even worse, they aren’t American citizens, and the last thing we want are foreign powers influencing our decision making processes. Rest assured, we are well aware of such concerns, and we believe that in order to continue promoting our precious values in the upcoming years, we need to move beyond state-level campaigning, activism and targeted harassment.
Which is where our new paramilitary, robot and skull-based brothers come in. What ultimately joins us together is an understanding: the only way to truly ensure we can set everyone- sinners and innocents alike- on the right path, is to attain complete and total global domination. In the eyes of our Lord, nothing less will do.
Question of the Day
What’s the best name for a pet you’ve ever heard?
Mr. Furious’ cousin had a snake named Asshole, which I always found amusing, and I once met someone who’d named his white cat Midnight. Ahh, irony—you never disappoint.
But the best name I ever heard was bestowed by a vegetarian friend, who had, as a lad, named his pet cow Mrs. Steak.
(No worries, animal lovers. Mrs. Steak was dairy cow, and lived a very long and happy life until her natural passing.)
Daily Round-up
Misty: Who’s yer (grand)daddy?
Shakes: America safer once more from the radical gay scourge
Shakes: Off-limits humor
Shakes: Two-minute nostalgia sublime
Spudsy: Chicago, Chicago…
Shakes: With Nero on the fiddle!
Waveflux: Soldiers speak out
Shakes: Carnival Queen
Shakes: Woe is Indonesia
Shakes: Caption This Photo
Spudsy: Happy Birthday, Bugs!
Shakes: A letter from George Bush, Compassionate Conservative
Shakes: What a rapscallion!
Tricky
So Bush signed the The Fannie Lou Hamer, Rosa Parks and Coretta Scott King Voting Rights Act Reauthorization and Amendments Act of 2006 into law on the South Lawn today.
I was a little concerned about what his left arm was up to, though, especially knowing he couldn’t do an end-run around this law with a signing statement, what with all the people watching, so I contacted some of my super-duper top secret sources to see if I could get a picture from behind.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Damn you, Bush!
(Real image of signing ceremony here.)
A Letter from George Bush, Compassionate Conservative
Dear Suiciders,
Just because I’m defunding 1-800-SUICIDE and trying to fold this highly effective service into my highly ineffective administration doesn’t mean you can’t still get help. In fact, in exchange for a little personal information, we’ll try to talk you down off that ledge. Heh heh.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush,
President of the United States of America
Not That Anyone Cares...
...well, anyone but me, that is.
Today is Bugs Bunny's birthday. Watch a Looney Tune tonight. You could use a laugh, couldn't you?
I think monnnsters lead the most iiinnnnteresting lives...
I was saying to my girlfriend the other day,
I bet monnnssssters are iiinnnnnteresting people.
The places you must go and the things you must see... my stars.
And I bet you get to meet lots of innnnnnnteresting people, too.
I'm always innnnnnnnnterested in meeting innnnnnnnnnnteresting people....
Caption This Photo
“I’m not gonna call him my president,
and you can’t make me!”
(That is, indeed, your blogmistress, age 8, grouching it up in Oscar’s trashcan at Sesame Place—which is sort of like Disneyland for Jim Henson lovers. Have at me.)
Carnival Queen
Love it. An English town has chosen gay 15-year-old David Bridge to be their carnival queen.
He auditioned in front of the mayor of Axbridge, Somerset reports The Sun.Rather be inclusive than exclusive. What a concept.
David said: "I've always liked the carnival and I thought, 'Why not take part?'
…He added: "There will be a few bigots who might not approve, but I'm hoping to show I've enough confidence to carry it off. It's important to show you don't have to be in London to dress up as a gay or in drag costume."
Carnival committee chairman Robin Goodfellow, 66, said: "We couldn't eliminate him just because he was male. Some people might be offended but we'd rather be inclusive than exclusive. It's hard enough to get people involved as it is.”
As predicted, there’s some grousing.
Local Chris Whittaker said: "We can't believe it. It's political correctness gone mad. How on earth can you have a carnival queen who's a bloke?"Perhaps someone ought to explain to Mr. Whittaker that lots of blokes are queens.
Carnival organizers said that part of the reason David was chosen was because of a lack of interest from girls—which is weirdly even more encouraging. None of the local girls were interested in doing the pageant thing, which left room for a gay boy to turn the entire thing on its head. Now that’s a bloody carnival!
"What did we invade here for?"
As George Bush prepares to funnel more troops into the war for Baghdad, some American soldiers already there ask pointed questions and make trenchant observations.
Spec. Joshua Steffey:
Steffey said he wished "somebody would explain to us, 'Hey, this is what we're working for.' " With a stream of expletives, he said he could not care less "if Iraq's free" or "if they're a democracy.""The first time somebody you know dies, the first thing you ask yourself is, 'Well, what did he die for?' "
Sgt. Christopher Dugger:
"We're trained as an Army to fight and destroy the enemy and then take over," added Dugger, 26, of Reno, Nev. "But I don't think we're trained enough to push along a country, and that's what we're actually doing out here."
Spec. David Fulcher:
"I mean, if you compare the casualty count from this war to, say, World War II, you know obviously it doesn't even compare," Fulcher said. "But World War II, the big picture was clear -- you know you're fighting because somebody was trying to take over the world, basically. This is like, what did we invade here for?""How did it become, 'Well, now we have to rebuild this place from the ground up'?" Fulcher asked.
The architects of the invasion and occupation of Iraq often throw up soldiers like these as human shields against criticism of delusional goals, botched strategies, incompetent planning, and a war that should never have been launched in the first place. But any comparison of those politicians to the men and women sent to fight and ordered to hold and stabilize an entire country is an insult to those troops. The vast majority of American soldiers are doing what soldiers at their best always do: their duty, to the best of their ability. When such soldiers ask the kinds of questions and express the kind of frustration we hear now out of Baghdad, it should shame us all. We sent them, after all...though to what end, only God knows.
"It's frustrating, but we are definitely a help to these people," [Dugger] said. "I'm out here with the guys that I know so well, and I couldn't picture myself being anywhere else."
If the Vulcans in the White House had an ounce of the integrity of Sgt. Dugger and his troops, even now I would feel somewhat better about America in Iraq. But then, if they had such integrity, America probably wouldn't be there.
(Cross-posted.)
Ziggy Played Guitar
THE best-kept secret in global diplomacy is out - US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will perform a piano recital at the annual gala of Asia’s top security meeting, diplomats and reports said.Via Steve at No More Mister Nice Blog, who notes that Rice will be "Accompanied, presumably, by Nero on fiddle."The Association of Southeast Asian Nations Regional Forum (ASEAN) this year has a heavy agenda with conflict raging in the Middle East, a missile crisis on the Korean peninsula, and fury over Myanmar’s refusal to embrace democratic reforms.
But foreign ministers from the 26-nation grouping will have some light relief at the traditional gala dinner during which the world’s top diplomats put aside protocol and perform hilarious skits and musical routines.
…Rice … is expected to perform a work from one of her favourite composers, who include Brahms and Shostakovich, the New Straits Times said.
Just When I Think You Couldn't Possibly be any Dumber, You Go and Do Something Like This...
...and totally redeem yourself! Chicago, I officially forgive you for recent silliness.
Chicago Orders "Big Box" Stores to Raise Wages
Right on.
After months of fevered lobbying and bitter debate, the Chicago City Council passed a groundbreaking ordinance yesterday requiring “big box” stores, like Wal-Mart and Home Depot, to pay a minimum wage of $10 an hour by 2010, along with at least $3 an hour worth of benefits.This is fantastic. One step closer to a living wage. And benefits! Good heavens, get me to the fainting couch, I do believe I have the vapors.
The ordinance, imposing the requirement on stores that occupy more than 90,000 square feet and are part of companies grossing more than $1 billion annually, would be the first in the country to single out large retailers for wage rules.
A gallery packed with supporters of the bill broke into cheers as the measure passed, by a vote of 35 to 14, after four hours of intense speeches and debate.
Of course, this can't go on without a visit from the Waaaaaaahhhhmbulance.
Wal-Mart’s response to the Council’s action was swift and blunt.You gotta love his chutzpah. Yes, treating workers with dignity, paying them a reasonable wage, and giving them the bare scraps of benefits is detrimental to working men and women. Excuse me while I whip this out**:
“It’s sad — this puts politics ahead of working men and women,” John Simley, a Wal-Mart spokesman, said in a telephone interview. “It means that Chicago is closed to business.”
Chicago is not closed to business. We just don't like your brand of business.
Wal-Mart will still open its nearly completed branch on Chicago’s West Side in September — the company’s first store in the city — but any future plans “will likely change,” Mr. Simley said.And that would be such a shame. Chicago doesn't need your goddamn stores, Simley. Don't let the door hit you in the ass.
In arguing that Wal-Mart and other companies can easily afford to meet the new standards, proponents of the measure pointed to Costco, which says it already pays at least $10 an hour plus benefits to starting workers around the country.Which is why I shop at Costco, and not Sam's Club. And just about everyone I know that has a Costco membership does it for the same reason. Getting the picture, Simley?
In existing stores in the Chicago area, Wal-Mart pays entry-level wages of about $7.25 an hour but its average pay is $11 an hour, a company spokesman told The Chicago Tribune. The company has not revealed details of its benefits.Alakazam! (PDF file)
There's lots of the usual "this will stifle growth" talk, but I for one am happy to finally see a positive step forward in the Living Wage march. Bravo, Chicago.
** Image mercilessly stolen from Pam's place; you should be
reading it daily. (Sorry Pam, I couldn't find a better image! And I'm lazy.)
Cross-posts are attacking the city!
Read-Ems
Orcinus: Beyond Politics
Mad Kane: No liebe for Lieberman
State of the Day: No comment.
Random complaint: Blogger is being a turd this morning.
Please feel free, as always, to use this as a blogwhoring thread.
Off-Limits Humor
[Updated 3.24.09 to fix outdated language.]
I’d like to address a concern that comes up fairly regularly around here, and raised its head again yesterday in another comments thread—what’s considered “off-limits” humor. Stark wrote a post detailing what he thought is a progressive double-standard when it comes to humor by listing what targets he feels are “off-limits” and what he feels are “fair game,” and it’s a good starting point for the discussion. All I’m going to ask is that you read the whole thing before responding.Off-limits:
First of all, I’m going to point out a couple of things about each list.
Women
Homosexuals
Transgendered
Minorities
Illegal immigrants
Poor people
Mentally [disabled] people
Overweight people
Vegetarians
Fair Game:
George W. Bush
Christians
Evangelicals
Republicans
Conservative bloggers
Conservative pundits
Rich people
Stupid people
People who...
live in the South
live in red states
drive trucks
fly American flags
have "Support Our Troops" stickers
Joe Lieberman
…Is this simply a case of applying a double standard to groups that we consider oppressed versus groups that we consider to be misguided? If you look at the other side of the blogosphere the columns are reversed. Is either side on higher ground?
Off-limits: I would add “men” to the first one. If I made an “all men are pigs” joke—heck, not even a joke, but even a straight statement that generalized all men negatively—I would be (rightfully) taken to task for it. Similarly, I would add “straight people,” as we’ve had discussions around here before that the use of a dismissive term like “breeders” isn’t particularly nice, either. And I’m sure there are some other categories that could be added, as well, like the chronically ill, the disfigured, the disabled, victims of violent crime/sexual assault. (I’m not convinced that “vegetarians” belongs on the list, but wev.)
Fair Game: I don’t believe it’s true that “Christians” or “Evangelicals” are considered “fair game,” although a certain brand of Christian Supremacists are certainly mocked, even by progressive Christians and Evangelicals. Similarly, I wouldn’t even say that “Republicans,” or “conservatives,” are totally fair game. In the past, I have specifically had to identify that I am talking about “movement conservatives” or “social conservatives” or some other specific group, even when I’m doing a straight critique, so as to avoid making overly broad generalizations. (Ditto Democrats, who, let’s face it, get have it equally bad around here a lot of the time.) And with designations like “people who drive trucks, fly flags, have ‘Support Our Troops’ stickers,” again, there’s always a caveat, which is usually about hypocrisy. People who drive trucks that don’t need to. People who fly flags but hate key American tenets. People who have ‘Support Our Troops’ stickers but don’t support the troops. Rich people who are stingy and care only about tax cuts. Stupid people who are willfully ignorant. So, there are a few of these categories that are too broadly identified to be totally accurate.
That said, now take a look at the lists.
Off-Limits: Women, men, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender people, racial minorities, illegal immigrants, poor people, mentally disabled people, overweight people, vegetarians, the chronically ill, the disfigured, the disabled, victims of violent crime or sexual assault.
Fair Game: Bush, Christian Supremacists, certain conservatives / Republicans / Democrats, greedy people, willfully ignorant people, people who are hypocrites, Joe Lieberman.
Spot the difference?
It’s all about intrinsic nature and choice. One has no control over one’s gender, sexuality, or race. The mentally disabled, chronically ill, disfigured, disabled, and victimized have no control over their circumstances. Some overweight people may; many don’t. Some poor people may; many don’t. And we don’t know by looking at them whether fat people are gluttons, or healthy but naturally overweight, or bloated by medication or disease, whether poor people are unmotivated, or lacking opportunity, or consigned by misfortune, so we don’t turn them into punchlines.
On the other hand, Bush has a choice whether to be a shit. Christian Supremacists have a choice about whether to try to force their views down everyone else’s throats. Certain conservatives / Republicans / Democrats have a choice about the way they approach politics and culture. Hypocrites, the avaricious, the willfully ignorant, have all made choices to lack integrity, self-indulge, or wallow in ignorance. Joe Lieberman has made a choice to take the positions he has.
To mock them is to mock behavior, not attributes outwith their control.
And here comes the nuance. The “off-limits” subjects aren’t totally off-limits, are they? Yesterday, in a comment, Spudsy typed, “Like the time I took the fairy to Shelbyville.” He immediately corrected himself by saying he meant ferry, not fairy. I replied, “ I took a fairy to Shelbyville once. We had a good time.” A gay joke—but a gay joke that didn’t rely on the denigration of gays.
I make jokes about “off-limits” subjects all the time, by drawing on irony. Women aren’t funny. Gays are deviant. Immigrants are lazy. But in those jokes, the “off-limits” subjects aren’t the butts of the joke—the people who marginalize them, who believe those things about them, are. Invoking “off-limits” subjects is only problematic when it’s unclear at whom we’re laughing—and if we’re laughing at a woman just because she’s a woman, it’s not funny. (Offensive and uninspired to boot.)
When you make fun of a man by calling him some variation of a woman (“sissy,” “big girl”), or some variation of gay (“fag,” “homo”), you’re denigrating women or gays in the process, because the implication is that being a woman or gay is somehow undesirable, somehow less than being a straight man. When you make fun of calling Ann Coulter a tranny, you’re denigrating trannies in the process, because the implication is that being a tranny is somehow bad. That’s the way insults work.
I understand there are some people who want to be able to use “politically incorrect” humor, and don’t see what the big deal is. The big deal is that it offends people. It offends Toast when people refer to George Bush as a frat boy, because he was a frat boy and doesn’t like that the term is invoked with such negative connotations. So I don’t call George Bush a frat boy. Big deal—I’m creative enough to think of other ways to describe George Bush that won’t offend someone I’d prefer not to offend. No skin off my nose.
And that’s one of the reasons I object to “politically incorrect” humor. It’s derivative. It’s not clever. It’s boring. If you have to resort to “What a fag” or “Ooh, testy—someone’s on the rag!” to get a laugh, you’ve lost me on the quality of your humor alone.
But here’s the main reason I object to the use of “politically incorrect” humor at this blog: There’s a whole fucking world out there where women and gay men and trans wo/men and racial minorities and the disabled and the overweight and people who are intrinsically and inescapably “different” for any reason are made fun of, marginalized, turned into punchlines. There’s a whole fucking world out there which expects us all to be perfect according to some arbitrary definition and seeks to punish us if we’re not. There’s a whole fucking world out there where people who don’t conform to that standard are not only ridiculed and made to feel not good enough, but can also find themselves at real risk of physical harm. Where they’re denied rights, job opportunities, friendships, votes, equality. If you want to use “politically incorrect” humor that targets those people, you have the entire rest of the bloody world to do it, but you can’t do it here.
This is a safe space.
This blog is meant to be a refuge from the kind of humor that preys on innate differences in our DNA. What’s Fair Game at this blog is behavior. Actions. Decisions. Choices. Things over which people have control. What’s Off-Limits is anything that wasn’t chosen. Them’s the rules.
We’re all going to make mistakes occasionally—even me. And for that, we need to make allowances. Everyone trips up now and then, even with the best of intentions. But if you take issue with a blogmistress who has deemed her teensy weensy part of the world a sanctuary from ridicule of the inalterable characteristic, if you feel that impinges on your freedoms, then off you go. You’ve got an entire world waiting who won’t hold you to the same standard.
