US Intelligence: Oh, the Irony

Wouldn’t it be just fantastic to get a job for which you’re resoundingly unqualified just because you’re a partisan prick?

President Bush on Thursday named John Negroponte, a former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations and currently the administration's top representative in Iraq, to be America's first national intelligence director.

It's a sudden job change for Negroponte, a career diplomat. The former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations has been serving as U.S. ambassador in Baghdad since June.

Announcing the move at the White House, Bush said that Negroponte understands global intelligence needs because he's had a long career in the foreign service.

I hope the next Democratic President appoints me Secretary of Agriculture, because I like the taste of corn.

"John will make sure that those whose duty it is to defend America have the information we need to make the right decisions," Bush said. "We're going to stop the terrorists before they strike."

That’s interesting. Because just last night on the news, I heard Porter Goss saying that terrorist cells in the United States are regrouping and that it’s “only a matter of time” before they strike again. Seems to me what this administration needs more than an intelligence coordinator is a message coordinator. I thought that was Karl Rove’s job, but now maybe he’s too busy making policy.

Said Bush: "He understands the power centers in Washington."

Translation: He understands that intelligence is just another tool to advance my agenda.

Those of us with longer memories remember Negroponte as the ambassador to Honduras from 1981 to 1985, where he

played a prominent role in assisting the Contras in Nicaragua in their war with the left-wing Sandinista government.

Human rights groups alleged that Negroponte acquiesced in human rights abuses by Honduran death squads funded and partly trained by the CIA. Negroponte testified during the hearings for the U.N. post that he did not believe death squads were operating in Honduras.

He and our new Attorney General should get on great.

And by the way, have you heard Donald “Douchebag” Rumsfeld may be resigning? Looks like Joe Liebertwat may take his place. A kiss is never just a kiss.