And He's "Not a Crook," Either...

As part and parcel of the administration’s refusal to admit or attribute to its loyalists any culpability for anything that has gone less than splendidly for the past four years and counting, one of their collective habits that drives me the most nuts is the refutation of accountability by obvious statements about what the president is not. It’s one of their most trusted methods to deflect questions about the veracity of whatever shit they’re spouting at the moment, and it’s completely infuriating, in no small part because the media seems to accept as an excuse for spewing nonsense the obvious acknowledgement that the president is not an accountant / a teacher / a retired person / whatever.

So it was with some joy that I found this collection of quotes at Dystropoppygus, which I now share with you:

Originally posted on Thursday, July 15, 2004, the following assertions were collected from public statements made by George W. Bush and his official spokesmen since 1997. (from Harper's Magazine, May 2004)

The President of the United States is not a fact-checker.
I’m not a statistician.
I’m not a numbers-cruncher.
I’m not one of these bean counters.
I’m not very analytical.
I’m not a precision guy.
The President is not a micromanager.
I’m not a member of the legislative branch.
The President is not a rubber stamp for the Congress.
I’m not a censor-guy.
I’m not a lawyer.
I’m not a doctor.
The President is not an economist.
I’m not a stockbroker or a stock-picker.
I’m not a forecaster.
I’m not a predictor.
I’m not a pollster, a poll-reader guy.
I’m not a very good prognosticator of elections.
I’m not a committee chairman.
I’m not of the Washington scene.
I’m not a lonely person.
I’m not a poet.
I’m not a very good novelist.
I’m not a textbook player.
I’m not an emailer.
I’m not a very long-winded person.
I’m not a very formal guy.
I am not a revengeful person.
I’m not an Iraqi citizen.
I’m not a divider.
I am not a unilateralist.
I’m not a tree, I’m a Bush.
Rest assured, however, he still is a total dickhead.


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