So, say you're a moneygrubbing Republican politican that is bowing and scraping to appease the religious right. *cough*MCCAIN*cough* Too chickenshit to take a strong stance on evolution or creationism, you've embraced the creationism-in-sheep's-clothing lunacy of "Intelligent Design." Reporters ask if creationism should be taught in science classes along with evolution, and you're all for it. "All sides should be shown," you crow, and that god-fearin' money keeps rolling into your coffers. Yes, the church is on your side.
Wait....
Evolution is in the Bible, says Vatican
D'oh!
THE Vatican has issued a stout defence of Charles Darwin, voicing strong criticism of Christian fundamentalists who reject his theory of evolution and interpret the biblical account of creation literally.
Oh, no... no, no, no, NO! The money was ROLLING in! Come on, work with me here!
Cardinal Paul Poupard, head of the Pontifical Council for Culture, said the Genesis description of how God created the universe and Darwin's theory of evolution were "perfectly compatible" if the Bible were read correctly.
His statement was a clear attack on creationist campaigners in the US, who see evolution and the Genesis account as mutually exclusive.
"The fundamentalists want to give a scientific meaning to words that had no scientific aim," he said at a Vatican press conference. He said the real message in Genesis was that "the universe didn't make itself and had a creator".
Look! Over here! Gays getting married! Flag Burning! MICHAEL MOORE IS FAT!!
This idea was part of theology, Cardinal Poupard emphasised, while the precise details of how creation and the development of the species came about belonged to a different realm - science. Cardinal Poupard said that it was important for Catholic believers to know how science saw things so as to "understand things better".
An appeal for intelligent thought? Wait, are you sure this is the church? Come on, if these people start thinking for themselves, they won't believe all the bullshit I spew on a daily basis!
People thinking? Nooooooooo!!!!!
Hey, if even the Vatican says you're full of shit... isn't it possible that... you might be full of shit?
(Excuse me while I giggle my cross-postin' ass off. Energy Dome tip to Oliver.)
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